I am getting close to 500 posts, as well as coming up on my 3 years anniversary for this blog! WOW! Can't believe it!
So once again, my sister is an IDIOT. We got into a big argument last night because she called at 9:45 and asked if she could stop by to get my wine opener on her way to work. I told her I was about to go to bed...she said I am almost to your house. I was like, "Why do you need a wine opener, when you are on your way to work?" She got all pissy with me, said, "can I stop by or not?" So I just said I would rather she didn't. It was almost 10 and Logan and I were headed to bed. Man she got pissed, and guess what!!! She came by anyway...at first I thought about leaving her out there, but the dumb bitch probably would have woken up Landry and JR - so I went to the door. I was so mad...she said she didn't want to fight with me..I was like, well shoeing up at my house after I ask you NOT to come by is a pretty good way to get in a fight. She sang this whole song about how she would just go buy a wine opener, she just wanted to apologize and make sure I was okay! BULL SHIT! So, I told her I was fine, I was just really tired and needed to go to bed. I gave in of course, took the wine from her, opened it, gave it back and told her to have fun getting drunk at work...it was a BIG bottle of wine! This is where she got pissed...saying I was such a bitch for the comment, and that she came over here to check on me and I was just judgemental and rude. I said, "Here's a funny story for you, This is MY house, when I tell someone that I would rather them NOT stop by...that's what I mean. If I want to judgemental, I get to be, if I want to be rude...I can. That's the beauty of living under your OWN roof. You get to do whatever you want to do without having someone else breathe down your neck, you should try it some time...ya know - living on your own!" I told her she should just leave...that I wasn't stupid, she didn't come over as the caring sister wanting to check on me...she came over as the older sister wanting to bully me into giving her what she wanted. As she was leaving, I told her I thought she should call in sick to work....and drive straight to rehab...told her she had a serious problem, and she needed help - of course she just flipped me the bird and told me to **** Off. But anyway - that's my idiot of a sister.
It is really hard for me to have compassion for her anymore. I know that alcoholism and addiction are diseases, I know that while under the influence it's usually the drugs and alcohol talking. The sad part is..I dont really know who my sister is sober. She is always on something - so I dont know what a sober Randi would say or do. She doesn't think she needs help, so she isn't going to get it...and my mom told us at dinner the other night that Randi came home and mom could tell that she was on something...her pupils her dilated, eyes glossed over, and she was slurring and talking very quickly...then she fell asleep and didn't wake until the next day at 3:00....well guess what, add that to the rapid weight loss...and umm, hate to tell ya, but she is on Meth again. No I haven't seen it - its just a guess...but judging by how she used to be when she was on it - it's a pretty good assumption. Anyway, so mom tells us this, and I am thinking - and what did you do about it??? - You suspect you child is on something and you do nothing...hmmmm!
Let me say this...when I was 20 years old I lived with my parents - I had gone out one night and when I called to check in my mom told me to come home...it was 9:30 and I was in Austin...I told her I was at a friends house and would be home before midnight...she said, "no, come home now." Well I didn't like that, so I stayed out and turned off my phone. At about 2 a walked through the front door where she was waiting for me...she asked where I was, I told her and I gave her the immature..."I am 20 years old, I shouldn't have a curfew..." She went on to explain to me that something was really wrong with me. Told me to get in the car, woke up my dad, and drove me to a psychiatric hospital where I was evaluated and released. They told me they had resources that they could contact if I needed a place to stay if I didn't feel safe in my home. I just laughed and asked if they could evaluate my mom...The doctor actually looked me straight in the eye and said, "that might not be a bad idea." I will NEVER forget that night for as long as I live...my parents driving me to a hospital in the middle of the night...so I dont get it - my mom will do that to me for acting like your average 20 year old, but she KNOWS her 30 year old mother of two is on drugs and she wont put HER in the car and take HER to the hospital??? I dont get it!
Like I said, I have no compassion for anyone except Isabella and Isaiah. So this turned into a blog about the IDIOT...and I didn't mean for it to...ughghhhhh - I really can't stand her. What a very very sad thing to say about my own sister...and now I am honestly crying, because it's my sister and I love her - and I can't do anything to help her and she so desperately needs help. I wish I had a couple of grand put away...I would tell her to pack a bag I was taking her on a trip...then I would get her in a car and drive her to a rehab...somewhere secluded and hours away...that way she wouldn't have anyone to get her out!
4 comments:
I am sorry to hear about all this. Equally sad that I know how these things turn out, as my Brother-in-law and cousin were both addicts. They only stopped when they wanted to, not when someone told them to. My cousins story has turned out well, she is a good mother now and goes to AA on a regular basis. My BIL's story is not so good. He tried several times to commit suicide and it finally worked. Its been five years this June. He had two sons as well. No one could have stopped him. He just kept using and continued down a path of destruction. It is sad that those kids don't have a father to take over the parenting full time.
Thank you for sharing with me Alexa, I am so glad your cousin decided to get help and so sad your brother-in-law didn't and felt that he needed to take his own life. My biggest fear is that I will be attending my sister's as well as my niece and nephew's funerals because she decided to drink and drive. I have made a few decisions...and will blog about it soon.
I know exactly how you feel. I don't know who my sober mother is either. It is SO frustrating because I love her and want her to be a part of my life, but every time I let her in, she ruins it. It's just not worth it. I found that if I just don't think about her, then it doesn't bother me! Ha. That's not really an option for you since your sister has kids.
I learned a few years ago that Alexa is right. YOU cannot change someone else. THEY have to be willing to make the change. As is completely evident with my mother in the past 14 years. That doesn't make it any less exasperating though.
I do find it interesting that your mom would do that to you, but not your sister. Did your mom start bipolar medication between then and now?
I know that I can't change her...or the way my parents deal with her...trust me I feel like I have given them so many options and ideas of how to help her or deal with her...but they are going to choose to enable her. I just feel like maybe if I can MAKE her hit rock bottom by calling CPS then it might open everyones eyes a little and she may decide that her kids are more important than the drugs, and maybe my parents will finally draw a line in the sand and tell her - get help or get out. I just dont want any blood on my hands...and I feel like if I dont do something then I am just as bad as they are.
No, my mom was on depression medication for the last 15 years but wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until about 6 years ago.
Post a Comment