here it is...

quickly - I know I said I would only do this once a week...BUT I finally broke 132! I weighed in this morning at 131.6 YAY!
Logan is having a pizza party at his t-ball practice tonight..instead of practice they are going to eat pizza and play at the park! Pretty fun!
Now yesterday I mentioned that my sister will be moving out of my parents house. Apparently she and her boyfriend have decided that they are going to move in together...a boyfriend of a whole month and a half! Dear Lord, my sister is such an idiot. I seriously can't get over how screwed up she is. I just want to shake her. If she truly loves her children as much as she says she does, then she should do what is best for them and realize that she only wants to be a part-time mom, and therefore she should let my parents raise the kids until she is ready to be a full-time mom. I am disgusted by her decisions. She is my sister =- how can she be so different from me. Is she a product of her raising? How can that be, we were raised by the same parents and she is only 22 months older than I am - so its not like our parents gained some infinite wisdom in child rearing in less than two years. Is it some sort of oldest child syndrome, to be the rebellion? Is there just something mentally wrong with her? Is it a genetic predispostion to addiction that she got and I didn't? Where did it go so wrong? She was ALWAYS the wild child..ALWAYS, but never like this...should my parents have seen this in her youth and nipped it in the bud early on? But how could they have possibly known that this would be the end result for her constant back talking, her stubborness, always breaking curfew - these are pretty common things teenagers do. Maybe looking back - she was worse than a normal teen....but who could have forseen this. And HOW on God's green Earth can she not see that her actions directly affect her children. Seriously, I had a bit of a wild ride for about 4 years - but I got pregnant with Logan and my entire world changed. I love him more than myself...everything I do- every decision JR and I make...the kids are first in our minds. Will this benefit our family?? I just dont understand how people can become parents and be so indifferent. To make things EVEN better I give it no more than 3 months before she gets knocked up. Her and her new boyfriend - that she has known for a whole month and a half - have already discussed getting married and having kids together! BRILLIANT! She can't take care of the two she has...but PLEASE, bring more kids into the world. Actually...I take it back - she will probably be safe and careful for the next 4 months...because her birthday is August 10 and she will be 30 this year - so I am sure she has some grand party all set up. Not that being pregnant would stop her from using drugs or smoking or drinking! I am sorry - I know I talk about this alot...I am just so utterly broken hearted that my sister has turned into this. The #1 thing that is coming out of this is that my parents can finally stop putting up with her crap. The worst thing that will come out of this is that Izzy and Isaiah wont be with my parents anymore. The two people who would actually lay down their lives for those kids. The two people who could ensure that they have stability, love, financial security, and a chance at a future - instead they are stuck with their mom, who is a direct opposition of all the things I just mentioned. Who knows maybe when she has to use her money to pay the electric bill she wont have the money for drugs and alcohol??? Oh - I know, that's just wishful thinking. An addict will ALWAYS find a way! Please pray for her, but most importantly, pray for the kids, and for my parents. While the past 3 years have been incredibly bumpy for them, I fear that that bumpy road was only leading to a really steep uphill climb. Who knows what's at the top - it's either a cliff in which to jump off of, or green pastures. I guess I just have to sit back and wait. In the meantime all I can do is pray and remember that God has a plan.