Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Oh man!

Yesterday was an interesting day....
I got Logan up for school, got us all dressed, lunch packed, blah, blah, blah. We stopped at the donut shop for breakfast, then off to school. Logan again was great...Landry, again, not so much. She threw a huge tantrum when we left Logan. She cried the whole way home, then cried some more, and some more, and some more. The wierd thing is that she calls Logan Daddy, and JR daddy, so sometimes I get a little confused when she is screaming, "I want Daddy, I want Daddy." I feel like she never stops crying some days. It just goes on and on and on. If she isn't crying she is destroying something. She gets into the pantry and takes all the canned goods out, she knows how to unlock the dishwasher and pull it down in which she then stands on the lid. She destroys everything she puts her hands on. There hasn't been a single day in the last couple of weeks that I haven't had a headache at the end of the day. I honestly dont know why she even wants Logan home, all she does is annoy him. She wants whatever he's playing with if she doesn't get it she hurts him some way. When we got home from picking Logan up from school, I was dying. My head was screaming, I had cramps from hell - it just wasn't pretty. Over and over, I would go to the bathroom only to sit down and hear Logan screaming. I would finish my business then go in the living room where Logan is crying, why? Landry pulled his ears. Landry poked him in the eye. Landry pulled his hair. EVERYTIME I left the room, Logan was in tears because she did something to him. Finally I walked into the sitting room and watched from behind the wall, sure enough, Landry took a look around, didn't see me, went over to her brother and bit the living crap out of his arm! I flew in, spanked her butt, told her no biting, and put her in her room. Poor Logan was screaming...she even broke the skin. Ughhh! Logan was never a biter, so I dont know where Landry got this behavior but it isn't good. After JR got home, Logan and I went to his room and spent the rest of the evening together...I left JR in charge of Landry. Honestly, I just couldn't take much more before I put my head through a wall. Of course, JR was mad that I wasn't helping him, and she somehow got on my computer and pulled off some more keys, so I am now missing the G-B-ENTER-}and the\ keys! AWESOME right? Honestly, the only ones that bother me are the g,b and enter, but what am I going to do. As much as dont want to rush the time I have with my kids - as much as I tell myself that I can never get yesterday back, that "it wont be like this for long, on day soon my little girl will be all grown up and gone" (yes, its a song by Darius Rucker) I still find myself wishing that this would go a little smoother, or that we could have just passed this stage entirely!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Out of it...

The other day I wrote a lovely blog. I hit publish post, and boom the whole thing disappeared. It is very hard to squeeze in blog time, and by that time - the kids were destroying the house, so I gave up. Honestly, I can't even remember what I was talking about, which in all actuality is the main reason I blog...so I can go back and read some of these things to help me remember. Most of my days are pretty mundane, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to remember it. My memory has deteriorated over the last few years, and I am actually wondering if I will have Alzheimers when I am older. I know this sounds weird, but to me, that is the scariest thing I can think of. If I am going to have some sort of illness, I would rather it be cancer, or something like that. The idea of my children, or my husband standing in front of me and not being able to recognize them just breaks my heart. I saw my great aunt Carolyn go through it, and it just seems unbearable.

So, moving on from those morbid thoughts...Logan is really enjoying school. If I could just get him to go to sleep at a normal hour, it would be much easier to wake him up in the mornings. He gets in bed around 9:30...but he does NOT fall asleep until after 11. I was curious to see what he was doing all that time that kept him awake, so last night I sat outside his door and listened. We dont turn the tv on, or let him play his DS, so I couldn't imagine what he was doing. He seriously lays in bed and talks to himself. Ughhh! That child is so much like me, I can't get over how much he looks like his father and acts like me. Anywho, once I finally get him out of bed in the mornings he really does look forward to going to school! He talks so much, I can't believe I ever worried about him not talking. I think the only time he is ever silent is when he sleeps. The teachers say he's great, they haven't had any problems with him. Miss Amy told me this morning that he was a very sweet little boy. So - who knows. I was a little concerned last Thursday when I picked him up he said another boy punched him in the face. I asked if he told his teachers, and he said, "no, he said he was sorry." So, I don't know if Logan was irritating the boy and he decided to hit him (perfectly natural response for kids his age) or if the kids were playing and it was an accident so the little boy apologized...again who knows. I asked him if he cried, and Logan said no, so I figure...kids are kids. I am totally not prepared for this kind of stuff. I don't want Logan to be picked on, and I certainly dont want him to pick on anyone else. But I also know that accidents happen, and I know that when you put a bunch of kids together, they are going to get along for a bit, and then get irritated with each other...so I guess I will just have to wait it out!

My darling princess is possessed (by the way, I just remembered that this is what my failed blog was about!) There are so many things to say about this child. Right now she is teetering on a thin line between good and evil! My blog the other day was basically to say that for the past two weeks she has been behaving so good one minute and so bad the next, and that for some reason it finally dawned on me that we are in the terrible 2 stage. I have no idea why I didn't think of it before, and in fact - it wasn't even me that realized it. I was actually telling Vanessa (my sister) about all the little things she was doing, and Vanessa's response was, "Well, she is almost 2." DUH! Vanessa has worked in childcare for 3.5 years parttime, and she seems to think that my kids are really well behaved...I am certain it is because she isn't around them enough, AND that she has to say that because she is their aunt! LOL Anyway, I could go on and on about the tantrums she has thrown, or the fact that she has started telling me "no", or how she has been biting her brother, or pulling his hair, or climbing up EVERYTHING and just driving me crazy in general...Instead, I will say that she is a very intelligent little girl. She talks like crazy, and although I am sure that JR and I are the only ones that understand her sometimes, the fact that she can talk in sentences is amazing to me. She knows to wait until I go to the bathroom or just leave the room before she runs over to bite her brother or pull is hair or his ears...that way mommy doesn't see it. She knows how to cuddle up in your lap and ask for kisses when she thinks she is about to get in trouble. She has learned to run and hide when I tell her we need to change her diaper..under the beds, in closets, in the toy box with her blanket over her...she is a very skilled hider. The girl keeps me on toes, and there isn't enough caffiene in the world to keep up with her. But I still love her to pieces! Ahhhh, motherhood!

Also, while I was speaking to Vanessa, I was surprised to learn that she thought that Landry was my favorite. Now, first let me say that each of my children are very special to me. I love them both equally. However, I have a different relationship with them both because they are both so different. Logan and I are like kindred spirits, we have a totally different connection than Landry and I do, but that isn't to say that Landry and I dont have a connection - it's just different. I never wanted to have a "favorite child". Growing up in the household I grew up in, it was very obvious who held the favoritism of my parents...it wasn't me. I was the wall flower child, my goal was to just sink in to the background as much as possible. If I wasn't acting up, or making noise there was no reason to be yelled at...of course, that only worked part of the time, but growing up in my house was like walking on egg shells and the more I stayed out of the way the better it was for me. I NEVER want my kids to feel like this with me. I never want Landry to tell me that I love Logan more than I do her or vice versa. I want each of my children to know how special they are to me and how much I love them. I'm pretty sure my parents never intended to make me feel less than my sisters, and I am pretty sure that I didn't help when I started to keep my head down and speak only when spoken to - but I do wish my parents would have noticed and maybe done a little more to help my confidence, and let me know that they loved me just as much as they did my sisters. All I can say is that I know my parents love me now and no matter what my childhood was like (by the way, it wasn't all bad), the good, the bad, and the ugly - I have learned valuable lessons of what to do and what not to do! The truth of the matter is, there will be times that my kids dont like me too much - its all part of being a parent!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

belated reaction

Every year on September 11 we remember, we mourn, and somehow we go on.
On September 11, 2001 I was 4 months out of high school. I had started college during the summer, but it was my first "real" college semester. I was up at 7 to hang out with my grandparents and eat breakfast. My grandmother and I would usually do part of the crossword, or the jumble in the paper, then eat breakfast and talk about what the day ahead of us was like. Tuesday, was the day I would take my grandparents car to the car wash for them, I also did other things, such as pick up something from the grocery store, or go to the bank...pretty much any little errands they needed done - so I sat down to make the list. It was close to a 30 minute drive from their house on the west end of Galveston to Campus. There was something (I dont remember what - I think it was print out a paper) that I needed to do so I planned to leave the house a little early.
As I was coming down the stairs to give my grandparents a kiss goodbye, the phone rang. My grandparents were still sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the paper, so I answered the phone - It was my great Aunt Carolyn - my grandmother's sister - she sounded upset...All I remember is she asked if John and Frances (my grandparents) had the tv on. I answered no, her voice was shaking - she told me to give the phone to my grandmother, turn the tv on and tell my papa to go watch. I remember being so bubbly when I spoke to her, I remember not even bothering to ask what channel to turn it to. I remember my grandmother's face when she took the phone. The worried look my grandfather had when I told him that I was supposed to turn the tv on and we were all supposed to watch. I remember my grandmother saying, "Oh my God." I remember turning the tv on just as the second plane hit the tower. I remember the look of shock on my grandparents face as I waited for SOMEONE to explain to me what was going on.
I honestly had never heard of the world trade center. If you asked me about famous landmarks in New York at that time I would have answered - Empire state building, statue of liberty, and yankee stadium. I didn't know what to do, but my grandparent were so upset and I just couldn't understand what was going on, so I left to go to class. I listened to the radio on the way, learning as the rest of the world as the towers collapsed - I was hoping someone would explain the significance of the towers. Were they a monument? a museum? offices? I know this sounds completely stupid now...but I was 18, and I just didn't have a clue.
Classes were cancelled, so I just sat in my car, trying to figure out what to do next. I was confused, I was hearing that there would be many deaths, I was hearing that there were people jumping from the buildings, I remember getting so angry and crying. I was crying for the senseless loss of lives - but I think I was mostly angry because I just didn't understand any of it. I didn't know if what they were saying on the radio was true, it seemed there was confusion as to wether it a plane or a bomb.
As the day wore on, I was hearing all kinds of things - such as people in heavily populated areas in the US should have a plan in case of another attack. First I thought, is Galveston far enough away from Houston? Then I thought, crap - I need to get to my grandparents. Then for the first time that day, I thought of my parents - we have always lived in small towns, but what really hit me, was that they lived in the same town as a nuclear power plant. I all of a sudden freaked. I couldn't get a hold of my mom...I thought something must have happened to have destroyed the power lines. I tried their cells, their home phone - no call went through. I turned every station trying to hear if any more attacks had happened...a few hours later I got through to my mom. She said to just be there for my Nanny and Papa.
Through all of this, I never really broke down and cried...maybe because I saw very little footage - I only heard it...Maybe because I didn't fully understand what they were talking about. maybe I was still in shock or just felt detached. But other than crying for a few short minutes - that was it. For some reason, I have had a delayed reaction to it. Each and every year on September 11...my reaction gets worse and worse. Even throughout the year, when a movie is made, or book is written or pictures are published - I breakdown. If I sit and think about it for more than a minute, I breakdown. This year being the 10 year anniversary - I decided I would avoid the television and radio...I stayed home - didn't watch tv, I read, and that was it. Today however, I reflected on it, I ended up watching a documentary and I broke down. It's how I wanted it though...by myself while Logan was at school, JR is at work and Landry was sleeping.
I remember how many of my friends enlisted after the attacks, most are still in, a few have passed, many of them have done multiple tours, and very few are getting out. Many people say that this was our generation's Pearl Harbor...I think that is pretty close to the truth. Pearl Harbor was attacked on December 7, 1941. the following day President Roosevelt addressed congress and in his speech said "Today is a day that will live in infamy." I think the same qoute can be said about September 11, 2001.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Direct TV nightmare

We have had Dish network for a little more than 2.5 years and have never had a problem with them. Sure, there were times that I had to call because something wasn't working..or the one time that we had to change out the box. For the most part, however; they were wonderful. When I called, I always spoke to a person not a recording, and I was never on hold for long (i.e. less than five minutes). So why did we switch you ask? Direct TV was offering the Sunday NFL ticket to all new customers, and since our contract was up with Dish, JR really wanted to switch because of the NFL ticket. I tried to fight him on it at first telling him that #1 we would lose all the movies we had recorded on the box, #2 I really hate to change services when the one we have has been so great, #3 I dont want to have to learn a whole new system and have to program all my shows. His arguements were #1 He has wanted the Sunday ticket for years but I have never been willing to pay the $385 dollars and this way it's free, #2 we would be payin $20 less for our monthly bill, #3 we will have all the same stuff plus his NFl ticket and HBO, Showtime, Starz, Encore, and a better on demand service. He had compelling arguements so I said okay. We set it up for Direct TV to install on Friday, August 26, and I cancelled Dish for the same day. Friday rolled around and guess what? They never showed up. JR called, talked to a supervisor who said they wouldn't be able to get anyone out until Monday, Aug. 29 and that they would credit our bill $50 for the inconvenience. That was mistake #1. I recieved a bill on Sept. 1 for $56.34. There was no $50 credit, and I didnt understand why I was paying for a full months service when I only had it for one day. So I call to find out. Only, they wont speak to me because it is under JR's name and even though I have all the security information such as a password and the last 4 digits of his social, I am not an authorized user on the account! UGHHHH. So JR calls and authorizes me. I call back. Apparently, you pay a month in advance...okay - I get that. Where's my $50 credit? They say they dont have that on file. Mistake #2. Then, I go back to Logan's room to watch tv only to find out that his tv doesn't have the DVR box so I can't watch any of the recordings. Mistake #3 I call, they say it will be a $75 charge to have someone come out and install the right box. Ummmmm....no, I am already paying for the extra DVR reciever, AND it should have been done right the first time. I am already paying for their mistake of not coming on the right day, they wont give me the $50 credit they promised me, and now I have to pay another $75 because they didn't do it right the first time AND I am paying for a second DVR reciever that I dont even have. Needless to say, I went berserk. So I call again...I was on hold waiting to speak to someone for 42 min and 17 seconds...guess what? The longer I waited the more mad I became. All they are willing to do is to compensate me for the $6 on my bill for the extra DVR reciever...I will still have to pay the $75 for them to come out and put it on Logan's tv. I am LIVID. mistake #4,5,6,and 7. Yesterday, I get online to pay the bill...there website is screwed up. I call. On hold for 22 minutes. I tell them I would like to be set up for automatic payments. they say I need to do it online, I say the website isn't working, they say try again tomorrow. SERIOUSLY??? Worst customer service EVER. I am so mad at the company, and even though it's irrational, I am mad at JR for having us switch. I know that he didn't know what was going to happen, he just wanted his football...but I am irate. I am still trying to decide whether or not to pay the $75 for the dvr in Logan's room...ughh..I am just so frustrated.

Friday, September 9, 2011

He's Here!

This is a few days late, but on September 7th my niece, Isabella, turned 9. Seriously? 9? When did this happen? On that very same day my cousin, Amber, went in to the hospital to have her little boy. She went in on Tuesday for her final appointment, and found out she was dilated to a 4, however; baby Mark was still turned around in a bad position. So they made the decision that she would come in at 6:30 Wednesday morning and start an induction. The doctor told her that she would not let her go more than 4 hours before they took him by c-section. Well, apparently the baby was able to turn in the correct position, so she opted to keep going. At 9:47 that evening after only about 5 rounds of pushing Mark Paul Ferrand was born, 9 lbs. 10 oz. and 22 inches long. The kid is such a little chunk! He is a handsome little devil that is for sure! Anyway, I am pretty excited! Can't wait to watch the little guy grow up.
Tonight's football game has been cancelled due to the wildfires, so today, the kids and I are going to go float the river with my mom and sister!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Changes

I changed my blog background...and while I like it, I am not sure about the colors because I can't tell if it is too difficult to read..so, let me know.
Logan is still doing really great at school, although I am starting to wonder why I am paying so much money, since so far he still doesn't remember his teacher's names, he can't name a single kid in class, AND he still says that all he learned was how to eat lunch and play outside! LOL He's only gone three times, I am sure it will all come around. Tomorrow he has to take something for show and tell...I haven't a clue what to let him take. The DS is not even close to an option. He would go crazy and never put it down.
I am learning to use my time more wisely by doing house chores or running errands while Logan is at school. However, being able to take a rest is wonderful. I can't believe that next year he will be gone 5 days a week! Ahhh! I am still trying to decide whether or not I want to put Landry in a program for next year. I would certainly like to go back to school ASAP. However, 2 days a week will take me forever to get my license...but oh well - I have plenty of time to figure that out.
Another change...Landry can TAN! LOL. Over the past few weeks we have been going to the pool quite a bit, and oddly enough, no matter how much sun screen I put on her, she has slowly been getting a little darker. Now, let me be clear...her white areas are super white, and her tan areas are more like an off white. Anyway, my point is that she may look like me but she just might get her daddy's coloring. Afterall, my hair was bright red, and her's is the color of her daddy's at this age. In fact, Ladnry and Logan both have the same color hair. Wow, can you imagine landry having brown hair with those big blue eyes... Anyway, JR's didn't turn dark until he was about 6, so I guess we will see. Logan's is still somewhat of a really dirty blone..but he can and is very dark. When I put him in the bathtub - I always get a little giggle seeing just how white his butt is compared to his back!
Another change it seems, is that Tangled is our new favorite movie! I love it, and both Landry and Logan will sit and watch it. This is a HUGE thing for Landry because while she will sit and watch a show for about ten minutes at the most...she has been sitting for nearly 30 to watch Tangled...and she usually comes back to watch after a short break! Maybe she is finally getting into the movie phase!?!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

A busy little week!

As I already wrote about, Tuesday was Logan's first day of school! On Wednesday we went to the pool with my cousin Amber. She is on Maternity leave so is a little bored right now, and we are taking advantage of it since we are both usually too busy to actually hang out. Oh, just so you know, she is having the baby on Wednesday! YAY! Anywho - we spent a little over 3 hours there, came home and the kids took long naps.
Thursday, Logan went back to school. It was another great drop off - no tears...not even from me this time! Landry and I came home and played for a bit before I put her down for a nap. Then I did some vacuuming and the dishes, before I laid down to rest. ummm....it was awesome! I went to pick up Logan from school, and again - it was fine. I asked the teacher about his attitude and the talking back - She said they didn't have a problem with him! So far so good! LOL. The class celebrated the August birthdays, so Logan told me all about it, and sang me the Birthday song! LOL I was surprised that one of the kids who is the only kid in class the same size as Logan, was celebrating his 5th brithday, even though it was 2 weeks ago (the teachers wanted to make sure that every kid gets to celebrate...at the end of the year, they will go something special for the June and jUly birthdays) - the reason I think it is odd, is because technically he is old enough to be in kindergarten. The kids mom, who is also named Sara, has 4 kids. Her oldest is in 2nd, the Caden (who is in Logan's class), then a 3 year old and 10 month old. If it was me I would have put Caden in kindergarten, and aid the tuition for the 3 year old so that I would only have the 10 month old at home on a daily basis...but hey, that's just me! Anyway, Logan is really liking it so far, and so am I, although I will say that the 5 hours he is gone seems to just fly by and then the time period between 2 - 5:30 when JR gets home seems to last forever! LOL After I picked up Logan, We headed to San Marcos to pick up my rings...YAY! They actually fit now, and they are so shiny, they look brand new! Woohoo!
On Friday, the kids and I met up with Amber to test out The Jumpy Place, which is an indoor play area with moon walks and all kinds of other play stuff. I was thinking of having Landry's party there, and also getting a membership so off we went to test it out. Logan had a BLAST! Landry on the other hand...REFUSED to get in any of the moonwalks! It was a little disappointing! :( Luckily, there is an entire playland for kids under 3, there are also, the small play areas with slides. There was a Kitchen set, A Log cabin mini house...all kinds of stuff so Landry had PLENTY to play with! All in All it was worth the $7 per child...AND to know that we can leave and come back at any time during the day is pretty nice - as well as the fact that it is only 2 miles from the house! The membership is $28 dollars for 1 child and $14 for the second... so I am going to take them back this week and see if the moonwalks grow on Landry, and if they still have a great time I may go ahead and invest in the membership. I mean, as long as I take them once a week, I have already gotten more than my money's worth out of it and I only have to do it for a 3 month period. I guess we will see.
Later Friday night, we set off towards Dripping Springs to watch my dad's team play some football! We beat the heck out of the tigers with a win of 47-26. It was yet another game that was not so exciting...but a win is a win! I just hope they can play some other teams with a better match up. It will certainly help us in the long run! On the way home...there was ANOTHER wreck. Ughhh...there is a pattern going on here! Luckily we didn't witness it, but there was a van in the middle of a field. There are no street lights out there so it is very dark and the roads are very curvy (it is the hill country), so My guess is they were either going to fast and missed a curve, or a deer jumped out and the swerved to miss it! Anyway, everyone was on there feet so I don't think anyone was seriously hurt, so there is some good news! We have a long weekend ahead of us! Hope everyone has a great one as well!