Well, I stayed at my parents house for a week while looking for a house...didn't find one. I went back to my house and got the whole thing packed up, moved everything down to Kyle into storage, stayed at my parents for three days, drove to Galveston, stayed with my nanny for three days and drove back to my parents. I was home for a whole 4 hours before getting in to it with my mom. It took four hours for her to use the line, "As long as your under my roof..." I knew it would happen, I just didn't think it would happen so soon. She told me that everything I do and the way I do it is her business as long as I am here - I said, fine - I'll find a new place to live ASAP....as if I am not already doing that! I lived under her roof for 17 years, and it took about 7 years after that to get my head right again. This is the main reason I didn't want to be here. My mom and I have FINALLY gotten to a good place and I knew staying here would most likely mess that up. She doesn't understand that JR and I are married and have our own family. We make EVERY decision together...which she doesn't understand. JR and I might snip at each other, but at the end of the day we make our apologies and promise to do better the next day. I hate being here, the women seriously drives me crazy. I am happy to be living closer to her, but being in the same house is FAR TOO CLOSE! I hope that it gets better...I have decided that on the days she doesn't work, I will take the kids out of the house. She yelled at Logan yesterday over nothing. She criticizes me for the way I raise them, about my marriage. She takes every opportunity to make me feel like I am not good enough. Maybe she was just having a bad day...but I cant take that crap.
My great aunt Carolyn was moved into an assisted living home a couple of weeks ago. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers. It has progressed immensly since Christmas. She is resetting every 9 minutes, it is truly aweful. My grandmother is devastated. She lost her sister Jane about ten years ago, her sister Peggy passed last May, my grandfather passed in July, and now this with her sister Carolyn. I feel terrible for my Nanny. Carolyn only remembers her children some of the time. She calls my grandmother about 15 times a day, she calls my mom about 10 times a day, and no telling who else she calls and how many times. The place that she is living lets her stuff envelopes for them sometimes....and she believes she is "working at the hotel." She gets out at night and wanders the halls and gets lost and cant find her way back to her room. It's terrible. I dont think you can really understand the turmoils of this disease unless you actually see it first hand. She has always been my favorite of my grandmother's sisters. She was here when both of my children were born, even though her own grandkids were having children within a day of both of mine. I love this woman so much. I can't believe it is happening to someone who has always had such a great mind. I cant imagine what it must be like for her. I truly wish there was some sort of cure for this disease.
3 comments:
I am so sorry to hear about your Great Aunt. I have seen it first hand several times, my dad would take me to do his nursing home rounds and it was a true learning experience. I think I had a different understanding of the elderly early on due to this exposure. The older generations have so much to teach us and we should never take them for granted. I hope she can find peace, and that you will be ok.
Alzheimer's is HORRIBLE. I think it is second only to death. It's practically like losing that person, except you have to see them in that constant confusion. I hope, hope, HOPE that I never have a family member go that route. I'm sorry!
YIKES. Living with your mom does not sound good. The thought of moving back in with my parents absolutely makes my skin crawl and we generally get along! The mother-daughter relationship sure is complex, huh? I hope that someday I can have a GOOD relationship with my daughter.
Thanks ladies....it really is hard right now. Carolyn called about an hour ago. She asked for my mom, I told her she was at work. Then she she said, "who is this?" I told her it was Sara and she said, "oops I got the wrong number" I tried explaing I was Casey's daughter but I dont think she got it. THen all of a sudden she did and asked if I was at my grandmother's house, when I said no she asked if she was on vacation and got confused again. It really is terrible. This may sound weird but I have decided that this disease is probably worse than death. Waking up and not knowing where you are, thinking that your children are strangers when they come to visit....I think it is worse than just closing your eyes and never waking up. :( So very very sad.
Post a Comment