Happy Two Weeks, Landry!

So today my little baby is 2 weeks old...
I am still plagued with hormones...I didn't even realize it until I was watching my baby sleep and thinking how small she is...I was reminded of Logan and thinking the same thoughts, and how I would do ANYTHING for my child, then I realized I was crying. When I stoped to think about why, I realized that my little baby boy is no longer little. He has gotten so big so fast. In the blink of an eye my baby boy became a toddler, full of life, and attitude, and a mind of his own. Dont get me wrong, I understand that you get older, but part of me wishes that I could have those days back...I dont regret anything...My little boy is amazing and he is still the best, but having gone through it all before, I am reminded to TRULY cherish all these times with Landry! One day she wont be so small... tear, tear, tear...yes I am crying as I write this!!! LOL
Several days ago, maybe a week, my husband was talking about how neat it would be to have Logan playing college ball somewhere and have the sports announcers talk about Logan's little brother playing High school ball, and how exciting it would be to have both boys play for the same school....I was having a very difficult time with this, because I was still stuck on the words "little brother" All I could think was, "IS he saying he wants another child? We had a girl!" Finally he stops and asks if I am listening..I say yes, and he says I looked confused...I said, "I AM" Afterwards we kind of just tabled the topic.
Two days ago...he casually points out that he might like to try for another boy....I thought we had mutually decided that this was the last child...I kind of just laughed...a little confused again. All I could think of was the pregnancy and the fact that I am STILL recovering from this child! Anyway, he said he was just wondering if I was dead set on not having anymore children or if it could be talked about again somewhere down the road...Ahhhh.....relief! We have always said we would talk about the prospect of one more child after several years had passed...Ideally IF we were to have another child I would want them to be spread out a little, meaning I would want Landry going in to or already IN Kindergarten before we have another child!!! JR agrees which was great news... Wheew!
I love my children but I am very content with just the two of them for now!!! Ask again in three or four years...I may be ready for another one!
I think what scares me the most is when I think about having Landry, I keep going back to one major thing...As I laid in the hospital waiting for them to come and take me to the OR I started to have a MAJOR panic attack....mainly because of the waiting, but let me just say, if it weren't for Brittany and Carol showing up right when they did I probably would have ripped out my IV and left the hospital...All I could think was that I had to get out of there. Obviously, it all turned out okay, but man....I still think about those feelings and I panic all over again!!!! So Scary!