goodbye

So I haven't blogged because things have been a little rough. My great aunt Carolyn passed away on Monday. She had Alzheimers for the last several years and her mind has continued to deteriorate quickly over the past year. On Saturday morning she fell and broke her hip. They scheduled her surgery for the next day but her kids decided it would be best to have the surgery ASAP. She got out of surgery Saturday evening but never regained conciousness and due to her DNR there was nothing they could do. She passed Monday morning around 6:00am. My anut Carolyn was amazing! She was there to see both of my children being born, even though her own grandchildren were having babies at the same time. Yup, thats right...When I had Logan, Carolyn's grandson, Stuart and his wife were having their little girl on the same day in Lubbock, but Carolyn was there with me. And when I had Landry, Carolyns grandson, Brandon and his wife were having their baby girl in Ft. Worth on the same day. When I was little I used to be scared of her....LOL she was always so firm and when she told you to do something, you better do it. But that woman had such a big heart she couldn't have hurt a fly. She has always been a cheerleader for me, and I love her so much. I guess I am still in shock a little. I know that if I were in her shoes this would be the way I would want it to happen. The dementia has gotten pretty bad and I would rather pass on with as much dignity as possible, but at the same time...I wasn't ready to see her go.
I am terribly worried about my grandmother, She has no one left except for us. Her kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. But all three of her sisters have now passed, my papa, many of her old friends. She seemed as she was just coming out of the fog of my papa's death, and now this. Its just too much for her and I hate that I cant do a thing about it. Carolyn's viewing is tonight in Lubbock and her funeral will be tomorrow morning at 10. I am not looking forward to the drive, but luckily I am going to ride with my parents and the kids will stay here with JR.