All about this weekend!

Just to let you know....this is gonna be a long one...you might want to bring a snack! So Friday, I started cleaning the house...Trying to prepare for Vegas, and I dont want to be doing everything at the last minute. I get a phone call fom my older sister, Randi, saying that she really wants to go to my bachelorette party. Have you ever met someone who has EVERYTHING all figured out??? That is my sister. We talk for a while, I try to convince her to save her money for Vegas..she says she has plenty...I tell her to wait and come Saturday morning/afternoon, since I will be busy all day Sat....she says she wants to get out of the house. I tell her to call her friend in Austin...that way she gets out of the house and has fun and saves money...she says she wants to be there for ME. I did what I could, but the point is, she already had her mind made up and that was that. So she came Friday evening, I had to cancel my plans for Sat. morning/afternoon. We hung out everything was fine.
Saturday afternoon..we are getting ready for the bachelorette party...Randi has already started drinking (oh I forgot to mention that she was also drinking, on the way to my house (yes, while on the road...she is so smart!) and then after she got to my house) I think she was on her second glass of wine, I said something about moving the cars so that we could take my car...she said we could take hers. I specifically ask, "Are you going to be one of those drunks who thinks they are okay to drive?" She replies, "No, if someone else is better off than me, I have no problem letting them drive my car." By the time we leave the house, I am already curious as to if she should be driving. We hit some traffic, and Randi is literally so close to the car in front of us that I cant see their bumper...I could barely breathe, I was so stressed out. She has the windows down, she is honking and screaming at the other cars..I could barely breathe, I was so stressed out. We finally got to Dana's...I had been squeezing my cheeks together for so long, I thought they would have to be surgically separated!
Now, anyone who has never met my sister can not possibly understand any of this. In fact, when I know that someone is going to meet her for the first time, I do my very best to warn them. The simple fact is that there is no way of describing exactly how she is. On a VERY GOOD day she is down right obnoxious, and you just cant imagine what she is like on a bad day! I should also say that I love my sister very much, and no matter how annoyed I get with her, I will be the first to beat the shit out of ANYONE who messes with her....not that many people would, she is a little scary! Okay a LOT scary!
I am not the kind of person who likes to be embarrassed...I have been humiliated plenty in my life, and would like to leave that all behind me! My rule of thumb is, If it would make my grandmother blush, I probably wont do it! AND THIS IS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST REASON THAT MY SISTER GETS TO ME SO MUCH! She will do ANYTHING for attention, and if she isn't getting that attention she will just get louder and louder until it is all eyes on her!
So we finally get to Dana's and we are trying to leave, but Randi Beth wants to read us her "funny" text messages that aren't funny and that no one cares about. I tell her we really need to go..It's 6:15 we need to be at there at 6:30...she yells at me to calm down because her clock is 15 minutes fast...LIKE I KNEW THAT! She and I listen to very different music...so the whole way up to Dana's I didn't know a single song...which didn't really matter because I could have sang anyway because I was to busy holding my breath! We get to the restraunt, and Lacy wants me to wear the condom veil, the green furry tiara, and the "bride to be sash" through the restraunt! I think I was a pretty good sport...I said I would wear the tiara and sash, but that the veil would have to wait til the bar. I opened my presents at the table, and Lacy and Tasha got me (among the coolest wine glass ever, and some smelly good stuff (I dont know what its called) some lengerie. It was very cute....but again I dont like to be embarrassed, so I discreetly showed everyone the pattern, and then put it on the table, all covered up so know would could see what it was. Randi, talking very loudly, says she wants to see the bottoms, I told her I would do that later. Randi, wants what she wants when she wants it, and there is no stopping her. She reached across, grabbed the outfit holds it up...I immediately panic, STOP! STOP! STOP! RANDI, STOP! She holds it up for the world to see...saying very loudly, I wanted to see the panties!
OHHHH yeah! I can barely breathe, I am so stressed out!
Lacy and Tasha left at 7:45 to reserve a table at Wild West, the country bar we went to after dinner, and we hung out ate slowly, and had some conversation!
Once we got to the bar, they had a table set up with balloons, and other decorations, complete with a blow up John...Oh yes! I blushed....but I also went along with it, I even took pics with him, danced with him, and brought him home! My sister got a little more intimate with him...use you imagination...and yes I as annoyed by it. I am going to make this next part kinda fast.
I had a lot of fun in certain parts of the evening...the rest of the evening I spent annoyed with my sister....I should mention my little sister, Vanessa, was there too...but she actually cares if she is getting on someones nerves, she also knows when something is about her, or when it is someone else's big night, and she has no problem letting someone else enjoy THEIR SPECIAL EVENING!
Randi is so loud...at one point she was on the dance floor singing at the top of her lungs, and I was about 10-15 ft. away and the guy standing behind us said....Damn that girl is loud...EMBARRASSED???? YES! I felt like she was getting on every ones nerves, and that it was my job to contain her, and there is just no containg her. At one point she started doing her stupid Rave dancing, where you have glowsticks and you move your hands really fast...I hate that shit, because she thinks she looks so cool, and I just thinks its dumb...probably because it reminds me that she learned how to do it while she was on drugs...something to be so proud of! Then another time she took her hair down from her clip (she has longer, fuller, much thincker hair than I do) and leaned over and started spinning it around and around (like headbanging, but instead of up and down, it went in circles) her glasses flew off...but that still didn't stop her...I panic and yell...STOP! STOP! RANDI, STOP! She doesnt listen so I put my hand on her head she grabs her glasses and says, "WHAT?" I say, "STOP! You are hitting people in the face!" She says, "I DONT CARE!" and I respond with, "I DO!" Embarrassed? VERY! There was so much she did...at one point she was pulling me by my arm because she wanted to do the stuff that was on my bachelorette T-shirt...regular bachelorette stuff like finding aguy with a 6 pack and asking him to show it to you...I didn't want to do it..plus it was only 10:30, she got mad and said "It's you bachelorette party, you NEED to do this." I said, "Hey, you made a really good point. It's MY bachelorette party, so I get to do what I want to do, not what YOU want to do." She rolled her eyes! There is more, but I will stop there...
At 12:00 I tell everyone I am ready to call it a night...Randi is drunk and isn't able to hold her eyes all the way open, I know I have to drive home, and I am tired. I tell Randi I am ready to go...she rolls her eyes and scoffs, the starts to gulp a full beer...I tell her to take her time, we will leave when she is done with it. She disappears, I am sure it was to guzzle her beer, get another one plus a shot. She returns to say....(eyes half-way open)"I'm going to sit in the car". I tell her to wait, we are waiting for Lacy to close her tab, and then we are all leaving...she doesn't wait, she goes without us. Outside she pulled the car around, and I tell her to move to the passenger seat. She says NO, Vanessa and I both tell her again. She isn't budging! At this point I lost my temper. I went from 0 to 100 in about 2 seconds. I told her to get out of the car or I would call my mom (I know childish..but my sister lives with our mom, along with her two kids, who my mom was taking care of. Plus it was more about the way I said it, and how much force I put into it.) She said she didn't care. Then I told her that We (ME, Vanessa, and Dana) were not getting into the car until she moved. She pushed the door open with such force, saying at the same time that she didn't give a shit if I got in the car or not, that the door actually swung back and hit her! I tried not to laugh. She got in the passenger seat, turned the AC on full blast, along with the music. Vanessa was in the back seat screaming at her to turn it down over and over, then she started screaming, "FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, CAN YOU NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU!", "YOU SCREW UP EVERYTHING" Dana is leaning forward to give me directions...I keep yelling, "LEFT OR RIGHT?" it was very fun!!! Oh Randi was also yelling at me, because I reached for the gear shift next to the steering wheel (which is where it is in my car) then I realized it wasn't there so I looked down and start to move it from "park" to "drive" when she grabbed my hand and yelled at how stupid I was because I didn't know where it was...she yelled at something else, which I was just trying to ignore her, but finally ended up yelling back, "ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT ME THE WHOLE WAY HOME?" SHe never said another word! ONce we got to Dana's, her and Vanessa got out, I got out to say goodbye, and grabbed my jacket because it was so cold. Randi then turned on the HEAT to full blast...I just ignored it...eventually she got so hot, she had to open her window to get some air! I just thought, WOW, you are such a bitch! She finally started nodding off about 20 minutes from the house and fell asleep, she missed the MAJOR accident right before the exit. THere were cops and ambulances everywhere, and all I could think was, that could have been us. Vanessa told me that 20 minutes before Huntsville there was a major accident and there were bodies laying on the side of the road and in the ditch...and again I thought, that could have been us if we had let Randi drive.
Anyway, the next day when I got home...I had to wake up early and go take care of some things, Randi acted as if everything was fine...there was a little uncomfortableness, but she still stood by the fact that she could have driven and that she wasn't drunk. Instead of argueing, I just said...It wasn't a factor of how DRUNK you were, it was a fact that you had been drinking. I only had a glass of wine at Dinner. And what is funny is that all the sober people there noticed that I wasn't drinking. I think the only person who didn't notice was Randi!
After Randi left, I talked to my mom, and she said her and my dad had been talking all morning and that they were considering not taking her to Vegas, but that it was my decision of whether or not I wanted her there. After, all this, I am sure you are thinking I jumped at the chance to avoid a round two of this! Well, the truth is, she is my sister, and all I can do is pray that she doesn't ruin my wedding, or mine or anyone elses trip. I think it would make things much worse to tell her she cant go. The truth is, I wasn't there for my sisters wedding...because I was to busy being the embarrassment of the family, so in a way I guess I feel like this is my Karma...my pay back. I just hope it all works out. My mom did say, that they are willing to give her a chance in Vegas, but the first time she misbehaves, or has a meltdown, my mom will put her on the next available flight home!
So there it is, my weekend...hope you enjoyed your snack, and about 30 minutes of your life that is now gone!!!