several stories

So there are several things to say today..#1 I know I have broken the rules this week...but I just have to do it ONE more time...first, JR has now lost 80 pounds! WOW! Second, I FINALLY broke 130...granted its only 129.8 but seriously...I finally broke 130 pounds and I am so excited that I am going to share it whether you're tired of hearing about it or not! LOL Only 4.8 pounds to go until my goal weight!
I came across a picture of JR yesterday from our Father's day float...and I couldn't believe my eyes. Unfortunately you will have to go to my face book to see the photo..but until then here are some comparisons.
Here is a photo of JR last year at our annual Mother's Day at the beach

Here are the two of us that same day...

This is JR at the beginning of April

And this is the two of us on April 17 on the ferry coming home from the casino

So I said yesterday I would post my own photos...and I am so very scared to do this...but her goes...
My first Cycle 2 photo (Day 18 of our diet)

My second Cycle 2 photo (taken this morning -Day 69 of our diet)

There isn't much change but oh well - JR doesn't even look like the same guy...its crazy!
So, moving on...Yesterday, Logan and I were playing outside and he slipped on our stairs...my first reaction was to catch him before he tumbled down...so I did, I gripped him up by the arm, and he was literally in the air for a second or two before I got him on his feet. It scared the crap out of me and out of him, but what's worse is that if I had let him fall he probably would have been fine, but I grabbed him up like a big momma bear and I ended up bruising his arm pretty badly...I felt horrible. I still feel horrible, it looks horrible, but he says it doesn't hurt. I tell myself that at least I caught him, I mean maybe he would have been fine if he had fallen, but he was going backwards, and maybe instead of a bruise it would have been a broken arm - I just feel so bad that I - ME - HIS MOTHER - put such a nasty bruise on that poor baby. On top of this, 10 minutes ago, he just tripped and fell on his bike (which is inside the house for some crazy reason) and went across the pedal which has left a lovely scrape down the side of his ribs. I guess he is going to be a clutz like his mother...but geez- people are going to think he is abused!
Landry is learning so much...yesterday after I nearly ripped Logan's arm off - I was hugging him and crying telling him how sorry I was. I just kept saying over and over, "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry." All of a sudden Landry starts saying "so sorry" over and over again. HA She picks up on things so quickly. This morning I asked if she and Logan wanted a juice box or milk...and she usually either holds her cup and whines if she wants milk, or she puts her cup down and reaches out towards the refrigerator if she wants a juice box. Today - she said "BOX" woohoo!

Here is link to the beach house we are renting for Mother's Day weekend. I know I said that we talk about it every year...but this year we were actually able to find one that was still available, and enough people that hadn't already booked a room that would make it affordable for all of us. I am really excited...and I am hoping that next year, we can book a really large house in January or something for the annual event and everyone can stay together!
Yesterday evening Logan had T-ball practice...He hasn't played in two weeks due to Easter, so I was a a little concerned - but he was great. He wanted to play, he was excited and will to participate...UNTIL he had to use the restroom...JR was taking him when they passed another family that had gone to Dairy Queen and were all eating fries and hamburgers...when he got back from the bathroom and had to pass them a second time that is all he could think about. He just kept asking us to take him to get a hamburger...after about 5 minutes JR got him back on track with a promise of a hamburger if he could finish practice like a good boy! It worked and we got him that burger directly after. I was a little funny to see all the kids out there after 2 weeks...there were several melt downs by almost all of the kids - but what do you expect, 2 weeks without practice, which is at 6:15 to 7:15 all the kids are hungry and tired, and its right next to a park where they want to play. What shocked me the most was the Coach's son. I have told his mom on several occasions that he is so well behaved..she usually laughs and tells me I haven't seen his tantrum yet. Well I got to yesterday, LOL. He was hitting her and kicking. I tried not to laugh, because I KNOW it isn't funny when it's your kid. Anyway, the coaches on the team are WONDERFUL, they handle each child's little meltdowns with so much patience it is just unreal. Not only the meltdowns, but everything. The head coach is really great with the kids. I really hope Logan can continue to be on his team through the years. Also while at practice, there was a group of older kids practicing behind us...they were probably 11 or 12 - and OH MY GOSH. The coach was calling them "twinkle toes" and "fairy" and yelling so loud...telling one of the kids, "you have to swing the bat earlier" then he grew impatient and said it over and over, and seemed to be getting more angry then he yelled out to the rest of the team that the little fairy couldn't hit a basketball he was so slow. All I could think was...my son will NEVER play for a coach like that...and what in the hell were all those parents doing just watching him interact with their children that way. I was disgusted.
I had some other things...but I can't remember them now and I have to get back to being a mom! So I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

River time!

Only two more days until we are back on the river! JR has been talking about it since Sunday night when we got home from the river...I just starting getting really excited last night. Hopefully today will not be as long as yesterday! IT WAS PAINFUL. I didn't think it would ever end. I have been losing about 0.2 - 0.3 pounds per day...and I am finally back to 130.6....of course this comes after a weekend of chili dogs, beer, popcorn, lots and lots of skittles, 2 candy bars, and half a soda. Basically I was a very bad girl. I know I have said many times that the number on the scale doesn't matter as much as how I look and feel - which is true, HOWEVER; I am a very competitive person - even when I am competing with myself. My goal at the beginning was to weigh 125, and now I am only 5 pounds from that goal. So I can't really say that the number doesn't matter, because it does. OF course, my end goal is to have the scale say 125 AND have a great body. But sometimes we just have to take it one step at a time! LOL So now that I spent the past three days trying to take off the 1.6 pounds that I gained last weekend, this weekend is staring me in the face - and I know we are going to the river where I plan to drink beer. I am going to try to keep it to a minimum...although last weekend I only drank 2, so I am sure I can keep it down this weekend as well. I told you in a previous blog that I am working to rebuild my own confidence and not be so hard on myself. I also said that I felt as thought my belly fat was getting smaller, so I decided to look through some photos from last year and the photos I take when JR and I start a new cycle (funny, we start cycle 2 tomorrow). Weeeeeeeeeeeellll, you know the saying mind over matter. It really is true. IN my head I have been saying that my belly is getting flatter, I am looking so much better - blah blah blah. The truth is, there is no change when I look at the pictures! I think I will post the photos after I take my new cycle photo tomorrow - so you can see for yourself. It just seems crazy to me that you can lose 11 pounds, and work out for 2 months at 5 times a week and not see any change. Well that isn't true. My arms are looking great...but again- I think that may be in my head. My backside is looking better (although it is burnt***)and although the changes in my belly may not be visible - they are certainly felt. I can actually feel the muscle behind the fat - yes, of course, there is still a layer of fat, but to me- it just isn't anywhere near what it was. Whether it looks that way or not.
As for my backside being burned....I took the kids outside to play in the sprinkler and the water slide...somehow - I guess I forgot to put sunscreen on the backs of my legs. I am not sure how it is even possible - but for some reason that is the only place I am burned, and the worst part is the part of my butt that hangs out of the swimsuit...well everytime I sit - it hurts! LOL Luckily, I didn't miss any spots on the kids! Looks like we will be back outside again today. The sun is already shining bright...and I love taking the kids outside. I think I will take them to the park today - I dont know, its so hot, I like them playing in the water so that it keeps them cool! But I have to do something fun with them because we are headed to the grocery store today...and that just isn't fun.

Logan is such a ham

Last night we were talking to Logan about our upcoming plans. I asked him if he was ready to go to the library tomorrow (today) and he had a huge smile on his face. He said, "Oh yeah, I like the library." Then he very lightly whispered, "Daddy, you have to whisper in the library!" He is so cute. Then we talked about baseball on Thursday in which he told us all about the purple wranglers (his team name). He told us that he was 4 but his purple wranglers number is 8. Then he got up and showed us how to play baseball. He swung his imaginary bat and told us that he had to run to first base. Then he illustrated how to catch the ball and throw to first. As of now, there are no plans for Friday. On Saturday, he has a game at 8:00am and afterwards JR has to head to work, so I will bring the kids home for a nap. Then we will head off to the river when gets home. The river we go to is surrounded by several parks, so Logan refers to it as the "river park!" He was telling us a very animated story about the river park and the fish in the water, when he all of a sudden told JR that they needed to go fishing. I asked him if he knew how to fish - JR interrupted by informing me that Logan was his son...of course he knew how to fish. Logan jumped up and with his imaginary fishing rod, he asked if I wanted 1 fish or two. I said 2. He cast his imaginary rod, reeled it in...meanwhile telling me exactly what he was doing. He said "you throw it, then you pull it then you do this (one hand was holding the pole while the other hand was going in circles to reel in the fish). Then you take your fish off and you eat it." Hahaha JR asked if he wanted to do some fishing when we went to the beach and that sent Logan into a whole other story about the beach and how grandma and aunt Brittany were going and how he builds sand castles and all about the waves. We told him that Davin and Aiden would be there and his response was, "OOOOH, I love Davin and Aiden." He then looked at me and as serious as could be, said, "Don't forget sissy, she has to come too." Bwahahaha! Anyway, we all talked and talked for about an hour. Logan just had us laughing so hard. I can't believe I thought that he may not ever talk. It's all that kid does...talk, talk, talk! I love it. He is such a sweet kid - I am so blessed!
Yesterday afternoon, I decided to hook up our new sprinkler. It is just a little $2 one, that I bought specifically for the kids to play in. Logan wasn't 100% sure about it...so I showed him how to run through it. HE quickly caught on, but told me I had to play with him. Landry sat on the blanket watching. I kept trying to encourage her, but she just wasn't having it! LOL Finally I picked her up and ran through with her a few times, then just set up down to where the water lightly sprayed her feet....slowly she got a little closer so that she could put her hands in it as well. They were so cute. I found this whole situation very interesting though. Landry is usually the daredevil. She is fearless most of the time, while Logan is usually more cautious of things. It was a role reversal yesterday.
We are headed to the library in about 45 minutes, and then we will most likely hit the sprinklers again. Well, Logan and I will. By the time we get back it will be time for Landry's nap. I need to go to Target because there is a really cute little outfit that I want so badly. I tried it on a few weeks ago, and loved it but they only had ONE and it was a large. I am hoping that today they will have a medium...plus I need to get more sunscreen! I can't believe we have already gone through a bottle and it isn't even May. I also can't believe how expensive sunscreen can be! Ughh! I am having some issues with Landry and sunscreen. I have tried the Coppertone water babies sunscreen as well as Banana Boat Kids which is supposed to be tear free...but each time, she ends up with tears streaming down her face. She never cries as though it is burning her eyes or like she is in pain... her eyes just get watery and tears stream down her face. I made the mistake of not getting too close to Logan's eyes once when he was a baby, and he ended up sunburned under his eyes...I dont want to make that mistake again with Landry - but I dont like the idea of her eyes being watery the whole time either. Hmmmm....maybe I will try something new. Maybe I can get one of those sunscreen sticks for her face!
happy hump day everyone!

recipe and things

First, yes - Nikki, they are the same cookies you had while you were here. So here is the recipe (with my own changes in parenthesis):
Ingredients for a Power Cookie:
1/3 cup unsweetened apple sauce
2 tablespoons almond paste (it is found in the baking section - its expensive, but will last about 4 batches of cookies)
1 tablespoon flaxseed oil
10 packets of truvia (a natural sweetener - also found in baking aisle)
1/4 cup agave nectar (also found in baking aisle)
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon (I use a little extra)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 cup vanilla whey powder (this is usually in the health food aisle - it is a protein powder)
2 cups oats (just your regular Quaker Oats)
1 cup dried cherries (we use dried cranberries instead of cherries)
1/2 cup slice almonds
Directions:
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Beat together applesauce, almond paste, flaxseed oil, truvia and agave nectar. Beat in egg and vanilla, Mix well. Add flour, baking soda, salt, pepper, whey powder, and cinnamon. Beat thoroughly. Stir in oats, cherries (cranberries) and almonds. Mix well. Drop the batter by large tablespoons onto a cokie sheet that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Divide dough so that you have 18 cookies (I have yet to make 18...I guess mine are too large but I make 12). Flatten each cookie with the back of the spoon. Bake 16 to 18 minutes or until brown. Remove from oven. Cool and store in a plastic container.
These are seriously - AMAZING! They make a great snack and what better is that I feel no guilt for eating one, and for giving the kids one. Logan usually helps me make them, and as with baking brownies for cake, he can still lick the spoon - or rather scrape his finger along the side since the batter is pretty thick.
The other things - well, every year we do a celebration for Mother's day at the beach in Galveston, and every year we all talk about getting a large beach house for the weekend that we can all stay in. Guess what - EVERY year, no one looks in to it until the last minute, when half of us have already booked a room. We found a really nice condo that sleeps 9 that I think we are going to try to look at next year, or maybe one of the really big beach houses that sleep 15! Anyway...I am so excited about going to the beach in a week and half. Hopefully we can do something along these lines next year!

It happened!

It happened! JR is now under 300! He is 299 - but hey, that is under 300! LOL ONly 49 more pounds to go to get to his goal weight! I feel like JR is the poster boy for the 17 day diet. We have several friends who are just starting it. I weighed in at 130.0 on Saturday, and 130.4 this morning (after eating chili dogs for dinner last night and a few beers on the river yesterday) LOL We will be starting our 2nd round of cycle 2 on Saturday - I am again looking forward to having a steak and some of those delicious cookies...I need to put the recipe on here! They are so freaking good! Anyway - I am so close to being under the 130 mark...I only have 5 more pounds to lose to reach my goal weight - and I have to say my body is thanking me for it. The layer of fat on my belly seems to be getting smaller each week. I have been on the same exercise regimen for about a month now and I am looking to change it up soon. It is still hard - but I think my body would benefit from a change - especially trying to get rid of these last 5 pounds and definitely trying to get rid of the belly fat layer.
I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to be more positive about my body. I think that we are living in a society of insecurity. Where women feel pressured to look a certain way. It REALLY hit me when I saw a segment about padded bikini tops geared towards 7 and 8 year old little girls. I couldn't believe it. As a mother of a little girl I hope that she can learn to be a confident woman. I remember wanting to wear things that my friends were wearing - shorter shorts, spaghetti strap shirts and how hard it was to talk my mom into letting me wear them...I am not looking forward to my 7 year old asking me to buy her a thong and padded bra. My answer will be an emphatic NO. Anyway, the point is how can she learn not to be so hard on herself if she grows up watching her mom being hard on herself?
I don't know if its this change in my attitude or the fact that I really am getting results, or maybe a combination of both. But I feel good and I am liking the way I look. There are still some things that need to be worked on...but hey, I am eating right, and exercising 5 days a week, both cardio and weight and strength training - so other than surgery, there isn't much more I can do other than just to just keep up my hard work. So, I am feeling good, and I think I am starting to look pretty good as well - although old habits die hard...see below.
We have already done about 20 egg hunts with the kids all week long, we did the big town egg hunt on Saturday and I, of course, left my camera. Anywho - we opted to skip out on yet ANOTHER hunt, and MORE candy, and went to the river. I was really nervous about it because, although we went many times last summer, Landry is a whole year older. Last year, she wasn't mobile, so it was easy to contain her. This year I was worried that she would try to stand in her tube, and risk falling out. Then I stressed that the water would be so cold she would freak out the entire time. Well, she did freak a little about the cold water...but JR just held her in his tube on top of him for a little while until she got adjusted to it. We tried to put her in her own tube, but she just wasn't thrilled with it, so we put her in Logan's tube - and together, they played and played! As for her trying to stand up or having her flip out - it was a non issue. #1 She never attempted it, and #2 I had a hand on the tube at all times. The first river trip of the summer was officially a success! JR was ready to go back the minute we left. It looks like we will be spending most of out weekends there. This coming weekend FOR SURE! JR even went and bought more tubes today! LOL What I was saying earlier about old habits....I was feeling pretty confident when we left the house - up until we were standing on the steps to enter the river. Then some insecurity hit me, instead of dwelling on it - I just brushed it off, took a deep breath and let it all hang out! As I said, I have been working hard with diet and exercise and I have had two babies! I look damn good - belly fat and all! LOL

Graduation Announcement

At the very bottom of my blog, I put a copy of the announcement for Vanessa's graduation that I mentioned in the previous post...apparently you get $10 off your next order by embedding your purchase into a blog!!! I am going to see if it works!

Guess who's pregnant???!!!

NOT ME! LOL. First, I have mentioned before that my cousin and his wife, Amber, are expecting a baby. I can finally reveal that they are having a boy. I am really excited for them, but I feel a little bad for giving her tons of baby girl stuff! LOL - no biggie, I will just go pick it up and take it to good will!
Also, I am 80% sure that my sister, Randi, is pregnant. It's just a hunch - I have nothing definitive or anything like that - but let me just explain the reasoning behind my hunch. I am going to try to make this as short as possible so if you get confused about something and want to know - just drop a comment and I will try to explain. Over a week ago, she and my mom got into a big argument because she didn't get her way about something, and she informed my mom that she and the kids would soon be moving out because she is SOOOOO in love with her boyfriend of 1.5 months - we'll say 2 - and they are ready to play house...live together, get married, and start a family of their own. So my mom and dad come over last night with Isabella and Isaiah (Randi's children) and I let all the kids color Easter eggs..I ask my mom if Randi and Amelio have found a place to live, and she tells me that Amelio is now staying at my parents house...or has been since Sunday night! BWAHAHAHA...all I could do was laugh. I ask, "How did this happen?" Mom tells, me that she was at work on Sunday night and Randi text her saying that she wanted to give her a heads up that Amelio was staying the night, and she was just letting her know so that he didn't scare her in the morning. Mom text back, and said that she didn't know how to respond, and that it was irresponsible and that she didn't appreciate her bringing a stranger in to a home that didn't belong to her. She said - you can't ask for permission AFTER the fact. Anyway, Amelio stayed Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday...but apparently Isaiah told my parents that they are all staying at Amelio's apartment tonight...hmmmm. Now, I am sure you are asking yourselves, why is her mother allowing this man to stay in her house...I should probably explain that my dad went out of town on Sunday afternoon (which is probably why Randi waited until then to pull this crap) and didn't get home until after midnight on Wednesday. My mom works overnight shifts at the hospital, from 7pm to 7am. She leaves the house around 5:30 in order to get something to eat and get there on time, and she doesn't get home until around 8:30 because she usually stops to eat something on the way home. When she gets home she goes to sleep and doesn't usually wake up until somewhere between 4 and 4:30/....that is if she doesn't have to wake up and pick up kids from school...and if when said kids get home they can actually be quiet enough to let her sleep. SO she wakes up with just enough time to shower, dress, apply a little makeup, and head out the door. Not to mention that she works 5 days on, 2 days off...she worked Saturday - wednesday, and had Thursday off which she said she used to just sleep pretty much the entire day, and Friday, she had errands to run so she was out of the house most of the day, she took the kids to a movie, went with my dad to gget him a new phone, came to my house. So you can see that my mom is barely home and even when she is....she SLEEPS. So, after explaining all of this - When I asked why she was allowing him to stay there...she said #she thought he was only staying the night Sunday, and didn't even know he had stayed Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, until the kids told her, then on Thursday, she was laying on the couch and he said good morning to her and scared her, and last night Randi and Amelio were going to a party, which is why my parents had the kids - so she just assumed he would be staying the night again. Now that brings me to another point My parents told Randi they would no longer watch her kids over night, nor would they be her personal nannies....but Randi figured out a way around that too...She asked my mom to watch the kids for her one night and my mom said no...she was going to watch them while Randi went to a party...they got into a fight - Randi told my mom what a bitch she was, and 20 minutes later she and the kids were bumbling down the stairs. Mom asked where they were going and Randi said, "I told you, my friend is having a party, and we are going." So My mom said that she would keep the kids...I mean, the only alternative was letting the kids go to a party, and my mom didn't want that. Ughhhh....so getting to the point about her being pregnant. My sister mentioned to my mom that she and Amelio wanted to sit down with my parents and have a talk... UH OH...With my mom's work schedule, they didn't have the opportunity so Randi said it again yesterday - that the four of them really needed to sit down and talk. I can only imagine that the talk is going to be about Randi being pregnant. Now, I may be jumping the gun - maybe she isn't pregnant...but I can't see any other reason that she would want to sit down - all four of them - for a little chat.
Now, onto why my parents came over last night. Vanessa is graduating from Sam Houston State University with a bachelor's degree in mass communications and a specialized degree in psychology on May 14. My mom didn't want to pay the $300 for Announcement they get through the school, so she asked me if I would make announcements that she could order and send out. She told Vanessa she wasn't going to do any announcements - so this is a little surprise for her. It's nothing too special, or anything - I just did it on shutterfly, but we picked out some baby pictures and some recent pictures and made the announcement together. I think it looks really cute. Like I said, it isn't some amazing tribute or anything, but I think its really nice, and I was so happy that my mom included me in the project. I am so proud of my little sister. It's sad when you look up to a sister 6 years younger than you rather than the sister that is 2 years older! Randi is the oldest...she is the one that should be setting the example for us - but I guess in a way she is setting an example of what NOT to do. Also, I wanted to day that last night when my mom and I were talking, I told her how proud I was of Vanessa, and what an amazing woman she has turned out to be. She said that she was really proud of Vanessa as well, AND that she was proud of me too! I of course started crying - it isn't often that my mom pays a compliment to me. She told me that I have also turned into an amazing woman. She said I was a wonderful mother, and wife - and couldn't have asked for more in a daughter. I am crying just typing this. Knowing that my mom is proud of me means more than anything. I guess what I am saying is what I have ALWAYS said. My mom and I don't have the normal mother -daughter relationship. We aren't really close, we don't usually lift each others spirits, we don't lean on each other in hard times. But without a question, I know that my loves me, and I love her very much.

Random stories

Here are a few random stories about my kids over the last few days. Warning: While these are incredibly funny to me...I think they are the "you had to be there" kind.

My children are quickly learning the art of annoying each other as well as fighting with each other AND playing together.
Landry love to climb in things, on things, around things. She is my little dare devil! We have a little side table in the den where we store our diapers and wipes. Yesterday she decided to not only pull out the packages, but that it would be fun to remove each and every diaper from the package, as well as the wipes. I caught her in the act and she was only a quarter of the way through the wipes, so we picked it all up. Later on the kids were playing really well together. I went to the bathroom, and when I returned I heard Landry crying so I figured she must have shut herself in to one of the back bedrooms. Logan was in the den and as I passed through the kitchen I looked at him because he had a very odd, big smile on his face. As I got further through the hallway, Landry seemed to be getting further away, so I turned around and went back to the den. Apparently, Landry crawled in to the diaper storage area, and Logan felt it necessary to shut the doors behind her. At several points they were both in the storage area.
Last night they played and played and played together. I was cooking dinner, and they were in the play room. I noticed that both kids kept running in to the den but I either caught a glimpse of them coming in, or just on their way back down the hallway. After about the 4th time I decided to go and check on them. The two conspirators had been going into the den to get diapers which they used to line one of the laundry baskets and were both sitting on top of the diapers in the basket - just sitting there playing.
This morning, they seemed to just want to irritate each other. If Logan had a toy, Landry wanted it. If Landry had a toy, Logan wanted it. I feel a little bad for Logan, because I am constantly telling him to share with him or give her something she wants....I need to be better at this - because while some of the time it is justified and he is older and needs to learn to share...he is usually pretty good about it, and sometimes I make him give her a toy that he had first, and it isn't always fair for him. Not to mention the fact that I am starting her princess complex so early....not so good. Anyway, Logan was playing in the clothes bucket and Landry wanted in, but Logan kept pushing her leg down every time she tried to climb over. I watched for a few minutes as it escalated then I stepped in and told Logan to let her in. He just wasn't having it. So I was getting on to him about how we have to play with others and Landry got right in his face and screamed bloody murder. She was definitely letting him have it in her own way.
Later on Landry was playing with one of her puppies and Logan was chasing her around the house. They were laughing and squealing and just being kids. Logan decided he wanted to carry the puppy and let Landry chase him. I know that he was thinking it was just time to change up the game, that he wasn't taking her toy to be mean. It was just her turn to chase him. HOWEVER, Landry didn't get that memo, and she was pissed that he took her puppy. She wasn't chasing him she was just wailing...and Logan being Logan kept coming within an arms distance waving the puppy saying, "come get me, sissy" She reached for it, he took off running. She was obviously not understand the role reversal. I called Logan and told him to give her back the puppy, in which he held on to for dear life. I told him that she was too little to understand and that he shouldn't just grab toys from people....this is where Landry interrupted me by screaming directly in his face so loud I thought the windows would shatter. Then she smacked him on the back of the head and ripped the puppy from his arms. It took everything in me not to crack up laughing...I did have to turn my head to compose myself. I got on to Landry and told her that we don't scream in people's faces, and we DO NOT hit. I told her to say she was sorry...and I kid you not her bottom lip cam out so far she could have tripped on it. Again, I had to turn my head. I told her again to say she was sorry, and the little stinker went and put the puppy on the couch then came back, pet Logan's head where she hit him, and kissed him on the cheek.
These kids are a handful - and even today, when they seem more content irritating each other than playing with each other - they still keep me laughing. And again, if you could have witnessed these things, you would be laughing as well!
Its almost Friday everyone!

continued

We got in the car and tried to prepare ourselves for the drive back to Galveston, but we only made it a little way up the road before we decided to go over to Delta Downs (another casino in LA) when we pulled in we were shocked at how nice it was, and made a decision that next time, we would just go there. Once inside we quickly realized that it was all slot machines...total bummer. Of course, JR wanted to sit down and play some, but I told him I hated the slots and didn't want to waste my money on them...that I would rather go gamble on the horse races. Unfortunately, they didn't start until 6 that evening. So we left. I felt a little guilty because I know JR wanted to gamble a little more - but I really dont like slot machines. We were literally at the beginning of the bridge to get back into Texas when JR ran over something in the road and it caught on to our car and we were dragging it so we had to pull over. It turned out to be some sort of wrench. JR laid on the ground trying to get it off but it wouldn't budge. we got back in the car in an effort to pull over even further off the road and when JR started to reverse, The wrench came off! JR got out and grabbed the wrench (for a souvenir). We were laughing so hard that all we won out of the trip was a mangled wrench. LOL We FINALLY made it to boliver and got in line for the ferry. About 15 minutes in line I had to pee. An hour and a half later we were still in line. We got on the ferry and I refused to use the ferry restroom...so I just kept holding it, praying that I wouldn't pee myself. I even thought about using one of Landry's diapers hahaha, and it made me think of that woman who drove to Florida wearing adult diapers so she wouldn't have to stop! It took two hours from the time we got in line until the time we got off the ferry. We drove to Walgreens so I could go to the bathroom - and I am not sure if their bathroom was much cleaner than the one on the ferry. FINALLY we got to the beach to meet up with JR's mom, sister, and our babies! Logan was out splashing in the water and as soon as he saw me, we both took off running for each other. He was yelling, "Mommy, you found me!" Landry was obviously exhausted and just let me hold her while she rested her little head on my shoulder. We were there about 30 minutes before we headed back to Carol's house. We made plans to meet up with the Ward's for dinner, so I put the kids in the bath as soon as we got home. Both of them fell asleep on the way home from the beach, but quickly woke up once they were in the bath tub. They LOVE the bath. After getting everyone dressed, we loaded up and headed for the Cajun Greek for some crawfish. I actually tried some, and was surprised that it wasn't totally disgusting, although I didn't think it had much flavor. It was kind of like drinking water! It took FOREVER to get our food, and by the time we left I think all our kids were ready to crash. But I had such a nice time getting to chat with Nikki. I miss her so much. I am so happy that we will be seeing them again in just a few short weeks!
On Monday, we went to my grandmother's house to visit. We were there for a couple of hours, and she was so happy to see the kids. I just love seeing her and talking about nothing. I had such a good time, we stayed for lunch and then headed in to Houston. We stopped at the radio station so JR could fill out his paperwork for the $500 he won last week. There was no parking, so he went in and I just drove in circles waiting on him to come out. Then we were FINALLY back on the road and heading home. I checked the back account from my phone, and FREAKED! Apparently when we were budgeting, the money we spent on the new tires hadn't gone through yet, and it did on Monday...so I was trying to figure out how we were going to make it until Friday, with the amount left in the bank, plus the $80 and WITHOUT having to dip into savings. JR said it would be fine...and I knew he was right - but I still stress about money. I took a deep breath, and decided that there were only 4 days until pay day and if $300 didn't last 4 days, there was something wrong.
The trip home was LONG...and the kids did NOT sleep for long, which made it seem even longer! But, we eventually made it. We unloaded the car and JR checked the mail, only to find out that the $420 that the IRS still owed us had come in the mail while we were gone! LOL This made JR and I laugh...especially when he said, see babe - we won!!! I headed to the grocery store then came home and cooked dinner. The house is still a mess due to the laundry that still needs to be done...but I am just trying to catch my breath LOL. It was a great 3 day weekend...and I can't wait to do it again...
OVer the three days, JR and I pretty much said to hell with our diet. I was scared as hell to get on the scale Monday night...and rightly so. I gained 6 pounds over the 3 days. I left at 131.6 and on Monday evening I weighed 137.6. Bwahahaha...normally this would make me freak - but I just laughed. And I guess I had good reason to laugh at the scale because when I weighed myself this morning, not only did I lose this weekend's weight, but I dropped another pound - weighing in at 130.4. I dont remember what JR weighed when we left for the trip but I know he gained quite a bit and was up to 312 when we got home, but was back down to 306 this morning. So, we are back on schedule with the diet. He has to lose 16 pounds by the time we go to the beach which is 16 days from now. A pound a day...I think he has it!

Our weekend

#1 let me just say that I took VERY LITTLE pictures...in fact I think I took 4 and they are all of the Welcome to Louisiana or the Welcome to Texas sign! LOL
Saturday, Logan had a T-ball game at 9:00am. So we were packed and loaded up by 8:20 and at the fields by 8:40. Only 3 people from the opposing team showed up...and even though I was super excited about our trip, I was sad at the thought that he wouldn't get to play his game. Luckily they worked it out to where it was kind of like a practice. There would be 4 people in the dugout at a time while the rest of the kids were in the field. One person would go bat, then the next person would warm up, and after they got all the way around the bases, they would put on their gloves and go into the field, while another player would go to the dug out...it was really nice that they still got to play. My cousin Amber came to the game as well, she is actually at the doctor right now finding out the sex of her baby! Exciting!
After the game we headed for Houston, and it was great, both kids slept the majority of the way. But I hate IH-10 it is so long and boring. JR's mom, Carol, met up with us right off of IH-10, so we didn't have to detour on our way to LA. We ate at subway, said goodbye to the babies, and continued to Lake Charles. It was such a long car ride...and it was my first time in Louisiana, so I have to just say that it was a culture shock to me. I dont think I have EVER been so close to an actual death trap! People were driving all crazy, apparently the shoulder of the road, CAN AND WILL be used as an extra lane when traffic backs up - it was nuts - I have never seen anything like it. Also, I completely understand the term "coon ass" now! I told JR that "beauty is determined by the amount of teeth you have." after meeting several people there! LOL So JR and I said originally that we were going to each get $400 to gamble with - but later, after getting new tires and a few other things that popped up, we decided to go down to $300...which gave us each $150 per day. Some how when we left the casino to go to dinner, JR talked me into using our entire $400 that night so we could get up and hit the road in the morning. First, I was pretty tipsy, second - obviously I didn't catch on to the fact that he moved the number back up to $400. So he went to the ATM and got the money. He had already used $140 of the $200 from earlier, and I had already spent $95 from the $200. So we each added $200 to our wallets and headed back to the casino. I sat at the roulette table for quite some time, without once dipping into my wallet. I played with the same money I started with...but JR showed up to tell me he was taking a break. After a little bit more probing I found out he had lost it all. So I gave him $100 of my money to go play some more. A while later he was back. so I gave him $40 to play roulette with me. FIRST, let me say that I HATE to play side by side with people I know...I hated doing it in Vegas with my sister...or JR...and I HATED doing it with JR in LA. BUT - I told myself to get out of my own head, I was up $80 so, I had almost made up for the $100 I gave JR earlier. 10 minutes later JR was out again, so I gave him another $40. That lasted a good bit of time, and when he doubled that money I asked him to cash in $40 and give it back to me and he could still play with the $50 he had on the table...but he said no - that he won that money....that's when things got more than upsetting. At that point I had already given him $180 of the money that was supposed to be my gambling money. I was only giving him $40 increments because once JR has enough chips he starts playing crazy and placing $25 dollar bets instead of the minimum $10 which is how he loses his money so fast. Then to tell me that it was his money that he won...ummm? Where did you get the money to play with? Anyway, after that things just went downhill, I lost all my chips and my remaining money - and I was PISSED. When we got back to the hotel I tried taking a few breath and just explaining to him how I felt. I told him I knew I was being bitchy and I appreciated him listening to me, and he said that he understood where I was coming from - that it would have upset him to. Then we decided that going to the casino together just may not be the best of ideas! LOL JR ended up walking away with $83 and he said that we could go back to the casino the next day and it was my money to play with and he would NOT ask for any. So back we went and I played with $40 for a little over an hour...I got up to $75 and told my self that if I got up to $80 I would cash out...unfortunately I couldn't break that hump, so I cashed out with $50....hey I still won $10. Then JR (surprise, surprise) asked if he could play with $20 and I could play with $20...and of COURSE, I said "ah.....okay" after about an hour and a half I cashed out...I was on a steady decline, so I left with $30...another $10 gain...JR was the shooter in craps, but was out of money so he was just waiting to crap out or whatever (I dont get that game) So I left the casino with the same amount that I went in with that morning! Not to bad! LOL
I will save the rest of this for later!

One more day

I am so thankful that this week has gone by with speed. Usually when I am looking forward to something, the days just crawl by. Luckily, this week came and went, and tomorrow we will be on the road headed to the casino. I am so excited about this trip. Due to JR's recent win on the radio station, we are going to keep our plans as far as staying the night in LA, on Saturday, and we will head back to Galveston on Sunday; however, we will be able to stay a little later than we had planned because we will be staying the night in Galveston on Sunday. We will have to wake up early Monday morning, but we have to stop by the radio station so that JR can fill out the paper work so they can send us the check. Also, we found out that had JR one another $100, we would have had to pay taxes on it...I guess the rule is that $600 and up winnings require a tax payment...so we got pretty lucky with that! Wish us luck at the casino!
Logan is SUPER excited to get to go see his grandma tomorrow - she has been talking to him several times over the past few weeks and they have big plans to go to the beach this weekend. Logan is over the moon! LOL He talks about it every day. I am just hoping that the enthusiasm truly pays off. Let's just say that he was ecstatic about t-ball too...and his first few attempts at that didn't turn out so well. So, I am just hoping that he doesn't get there and flip out. He doesn't exactly like to get dirty...nor has he been a big fan of the beach in the past...so I guess we will have to see. JR seems to think that he will probably do better since we wont be there. All I know is I am packing there swimsuits and suncreen! LOL
This morning my little girl was ALL about her daddy...she has said his name about 999,999,999 times today. She has been such a doll, I love her so much! I just can't get over how lucky I am to be blessed with these two amazing kids! What more could a girl ask for?

here it is...

quickly - I know I said I would only do this once a week...BUT I finally broke 132! I weighed in this morning at 131.6 YAY!
Logan is having a pizza party at his t-ball practice tonight..instead of practice they are going to eat pizza and play at the park! Pretty fun!
Now yesterday I mentioned that my sister will be moving out of my parents house. Apparently she and her boyfriend have decided that they are going to move in together...a boyfriend of a whole month and a half! Dear Lord, my sister is such an idiot. I seriously can't get over how screwed up she is. I just want to shake her. If she truly loves her children as much as she says she does, then she should do what is best for them and realize that she only wants to be a part-time mom, and therefore she should let my parents raise the kids until she is ready to be a full-time mom. I am disgusted by her decisions. She is my sister =- how can she be so different from me. Is she a product of her raising? How can that be, we were raised by the same parents and she is only 22 months older than I am - so its not like our parents gained some infinite wisdom in child rearing in less than two years. Is it some sort of oldest child syndrome, to be the rebellion? Is there just something mentally wrong with her? Is it a genetic predispostion to addiction that she got and I didn't? Where did it go so wrong? She was ALWAYS the wild child..ALWAYS, but never like this...should my parents have seen this in her youth and nipped it in the bud early on? But how could they have possibly known that this would be the end result for her constant back talking, her stubborness, always breaking curfew - these are pretty common things teenagers do. Maybe looking back - she was worse than a normal teen....but who could have forseen this. And HOW on God's green Earth can she not see that her actions directly affect her children. Seriously, I had a bit of a wild ride for about 4 years - but I got pregnant with Logan and my entire world changed. I love him more than myself...everything I do- every decision JR and I make...the kids are first in our minds. Will this benefit our family?? I just dont understand how people can become parents and be so indifferent. To make things EVEN better I give it no more than 3 months before she gets knocked up. Her and her new boyfriend - that she has known for a whole month and a half - have already discussed getting married and having kids together! BRILLIANT! She can't take care of the two she has...but PLEASE, bring more kids into the world. Actually...I take it back - she will probably be safe and careful for the next 4 months...because her birthday is August 10 and she will be 30 this year - so I am sure she has some grand party all set up. Not that being pregnant would stop her from using drugs or smoking or drinking! I am sorry - I know I talk about this alot...I am just so utterly broken hearted that my sister has turned into this. The #1 thing that is coming out of this is that my parents can finally stop putting up with her crap. The worst thing that will come out of this is that Izzy and Isaiah wont be with my parents anymore. The two people who would actually lay down their lives for those kids. The two people who could ensure that they have stability, love, financial security, and a chance at a future - instead they are stuck with their mom, who is a direct opposition of all the things I just mentioned. Who knows maybe when she has to use her money to pay the electric bill she wont have the money for drugs and alcohol??? Oh - I know, that's just wishful thinking. An addict will ALWAYS find a way! Please pray for her, but most importantly, pray for the kids, and for my parents. While the past 3 years have been incredibly bumpy for them, I fear that that bumpy road was only leading to a really steep uphill climb. Who knows what's at the top - it's either a cliff in which to jump off of, or green pastures. I guess I just have to sit back and wait. In the meantime all I can do is pray and remember that God has a plan.

I'm a good MOM! YAY

hahaha...I was just telling JR how badly I was feeling because of the things that I HAVEN'T done. When I imagine what a good mom should be, I usually imagine June Cleaver! Snacks after school. Doing fun things with them, picnics at the park...but I dont always have the energy for it all. Anyway, I was telling how I haven't taken the kids to the park, or to the movies, or done anything fun with them. He answered with this, "What did you do this morning?"
"I took them to the library for story time."
"And did they have fun?" He asked.
"Well, yeah, Logan loves it."
"See, you did something fun already and it isn't even noon. Think about it, you take Logan outside to play with the bubbles, the slip n slide, the sprinkler. We take them to the park every Thursday to play befor T-ball. You take them to the library, to the wild flower place. To that aquarium place (he means aquarina springs), you tried to take him to the movie last week, but the movie doesn't come out until this Friday - which are taking him to. You play legos with him. You do all kinds of fun things with the kids, and you have a lot more patience than I do."
Well, kick me in the butt - he's right! It just made me feel much better, because I guess I just get in these weird moods, and I feel like I dont do enough for them.
My sister will be moving out of my parents house soon - and I guess I was looking down my nose at her yesterday, and today it really got me thinking about the things I could improve on, when it comes to being a mom. So, I have given it some thought, and trust me I have a LIST but here are a few. Patience, my reactions to things when they dont go as planned - I tend to flip out a little and I have noticed the same bahavior with my kids when they dont get their way about something, learning to count to at least 5 might help me out so I can keep my composure! LOL Learning to let go of some of my control - this will probably be the hardest. Anyway - I just wanted write this down so that the next time I am having my doubts, I can come back and look! I am so glad the warm weather is here and the kids and I are getting out so much more! When I think about how much we have done already, it makes me feel FANTASTIC!

LIBRARY DAY

It's storytime at the public library today! Woohoo - hopefully Landry will behave herself a little better! I am excited to get some new books and Logan can't wait for new dvd's!
Yesterday was a VERY good day. JR won $500 off KILT. We both signed up about 3 years ago...we were living off Scott st. in LaMarque at the time. Well Apparently, they have this thing call the KILT pay roll. They call a loyal listener's name every hour and that person has 10 min to call in. Once they call in and confirm they are who they are, they automatically win $100. When the next name is called an hour later, the same rules apply, however, if they do not call in with in the alotted 10 min. they forfeit their $100 and it goes to the previous person. SO they called JR's name yesterday, and his sister called him to tell him to call the station! the next four winners did not call in to claim their prize, so JR ended up winning $500! All I could think was Wow...and then I started thinking about the saying, "the rich just get richer...the poor get poorer." We are by no means rich - at least not in the monetary sense of the word...but we are finally in a financial ease. We dont have to worry as much - where before we were scraping pennies to make rent, now I worry if we are putting enough in savings! LOL Seriously, Where was that money when we were actually in NEED....hahaha Dont get me wrong - I am NOT complaining! Money is money, no matter how, where, or when it comes - I will HAPPILY take it! LOL
Happy hump day everyone! In 73 more hours I will be headed to the Casino! YAY!

Monday

Man oh man, I am in such a hurry to get this week over- I want to be in Louisiana and at the casino right NOW! I can't believe we are actually doing it. Granted its just an over night trip...but I am still very excited...I may not sleep at all! LOL Yeah right - by midnight I will be falling off the chair! It is certainly going to be a different experience from my last casino trip...for one - it was vegas, and 2 - I was pregnant! LOL! Anyway, I couldn't be more excited!
Yesterday, was fine...Logan begged ALL morning to go play on the slip n slide, and I told him no...First of all the wind was crazy strong, and second his little shoulders were still a bit pink and I didn't want him going out until it was completely healed. Finally at 12:30 I gave in...but I made him wear a shirt. we went out, I got it all set up, got him, Landry, and myself sunscreened up, and 5 minutes later he said he was done! UGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I was so irritated. But I took the kids in and said oh well. Then Logan and I played a few games and I turned on my soaps and tried to catch up since I am so far behind because I hardly ever watch tv anymore. I am behind on almost all of my shows! Anyway, it was a good day, but once I got my head wrapped around going outside, and then Logan changed his mind...all I could do was look out the window, wishing I was out there! LOL

Catch up

Okay, I felt bad about not posting all weekend, until I looked at the dashboard and realized no one else posted either! I am guessing that means you all had as busy a weekend as I did! So I will play a little catch up for you guys.
Saturday we had to get up to the baseball fields by 10:15 for Logan's t-ball pictures followed by his game at 11:00. I am hoping his pictures will turn out okay...the team picture is going to be a total loss - it was as if the camera man told each kid to look in a different direction! LOL The game was great - well, I assume it was...I was pretty busy chasing Landry, so I didn't get to watch a whole lot of the game. But I never saw Logan crying or acting up or arguing with JR and after the game, JR confirmed that he was so good, in fact, he was reall IN to playing. Landry was such a little fart, if I watched the game for more than 30 seconds and turned to check on her she would be all the way to another field...I gave up trying to watch and just played chase with her. Then, when Logan was up to bat I would pick her up so that I could watch him and she would scream the whole time, "I want down I want down!" ughhh After the game we ran to get something to eat, headed home and put Landry down for a nap. JR took my car and Logan in to Austin to get two new front tires and I stayed home and mowed the yard. I grabbed a quick shower and got dressed and we all headed back to Austin to do some shopping. JR got several new shirts and a new pair of shorts, and is going today to get some jeans...he didn't like the way the jeans fit him...so he decided to go to a different store. I got a couple pairs of shorts and a pair of jeans and several new tops! JR is out of the big & tall section! In fact, he has gone from a 4XL to a XXL and from and size 50 waist to a 42. On the way home, we decided that we weren't going to go to the baseball game the following day, because we were both just too tired. We got dinner and went home and I think we were all asleep by 9:00.
Sunday, Logan woke up and wanted to play with the slip n slide - So JR went and set it all up. We were out there from 10:00 am until 3:00pm! We had the neighbors, my neice and nephew and Logan and Landry! I can't wait to see my water bill! But it was a lot of fun...the biggest problem is that Logan wants to do it every day, and I am telling you that our water bill will be about $400 if we go out there as much as he wants. Plus, I dont want him to go out today, because his skin is still just slightly pink and I would like it to be completely healed before I expose him to more rays...but he wants to go out there so badly....he is driving me crazy! I am thinking about taking them to the library....maybe if he checks out some new movies that will distract him until tomorrow!!???
This past week - EVERYTHING - went to hell! By Tuesday of last week - I just finally got worn out...plus we were out of the house all day Wed. and Thurs....but basically, I wasn't here to clean on regular schedule. So, the house quickly became a wreck - and I realized very quickly why it is so important to keep up with that schedule. Also, I stopped cooking...I guess it was a combo of being tired and a little disappointed in the the fact that I have not seen the results in myself that I had hoped for. I also went the entire week without working out. It started because my arm was killing me, then my knees were hurting so badly that I decided to give them a little TLC...well here it is a week later - and my KNEES are STILL killing me - so I guess I am just going to have to work through it. Anyway, because I was too lazy, JR's weight loss suffered a bit, and now I feel terribly guilty. He weighed 314 yesterday morning, which put him at a 3 pound loss for the week. He was upset, because on Wednesday he was at 312 and it looked like he would be on schedule to make his goal of hitting 300 for the casino...but he also isn't working out at all, and I can't do anything about that. So Sunday night, I told myself that my little break was over...it was time to get back to business, so I cooked a healthy meal and i went grocery shopping for the week. So we took a small 4 day detour from the diet...although while I was eating fast food burgers, JR was still making smarter, healthier choices, like a turkey breast sandwich on wheat! I dont think JR will be able to lose 14 pounds over the next 5 days, LOL - but that's okay...I just need to be better about the cooking - but it kind of sucks to think that his entire success depends on me! ughhh! No pressure. I, on the other hand, weighed 134.8 yesterday morning...so we will just say 135...so considering my weight fluctuates between 132 to 135...I am not at all discouraged by it...to think that I have eaten fast food, and haven't worked out a lick for and entire week, and I didn't pack on a bunch of pounds...well - 135 isn't too bad. I am not saying that I should continue on the path...I would very easily get up to 180 if I ate like that everyday! So today, I WILL get back out there and work out! I am devoted to getting back on track as far as the diet and exercise goes...I also need to get back on track with my house...my floor is NASTY - so I am going to have to sweep, mop, and vacuum today! YIKES - looks like I better get busy instead of wasting time writing my novel!
Hope you all have a wonderful week!
5 more days until I am sitting at the roulette table! AHHHH I can't wait!

TGIF

Wheew....this week has flown by, but I am so happy that it is Friday because I got about 3 hours of sleep last night, and I am so tired. I was going to take the kids to see Rio this afternnon - but instead I think we will all take a nap. Maybe we can go this evening with daddy or after Logan's game tomorrow. He has t-ball pictures tomorrow. I am actually excited about it! I can't wait to see his smile (or lack there of) for someone else's camera. We had practice last night, and he did AMAZING! Not a single fit, no arguing, no bribing, nothing! It was awesome, stress free, and went by so quickly. JR stayed on the field with him while he played defense, then I walked up to the plate with him when it was his turn to bat...I told him to listen to his coach and I slowly backed away. He foolowed the coaches instructions for the rest of the practice, while JR and I watched with pride from outside the fence. It only took 4 practices and 2 games - but I think we have FINALLY gotten the routine down! YAY!...I dont want to jinx it so we will see how it goes tomorrow! Thank goodness his game isn't until 11, so we can all sleep in just a bit. Although his pictures are at 10:30, so we will need to leave the house no later than 10. Each week, one of the kids parent's are responsible for bringing snacks - so I asked if the team mom could email me the info so I know when my week is...well I never got it so I asked her to bring a paper copy...which she forgot last Saturday but brought to practice - and just as feared, she had us down for the weekend of May 7 - the week Logan will be missing due to our Annual Mother's Day at the beach trip! Luckily its several weeks away, and I was able to switch with another mother...so Hallelujah!
I have read 92 books so far this year, and I decided at the beginning of this week that I was going to get a Library card from the Local library. the biggest problem with that is I dont have a lot of time to read during the day - except when the kids are napping - and that's only if I have my chores done. I do most of my reading at night on my phone thanks to the kindle app. When I decided to get the library card I hadn't thought of this problem and I made a goal to read 400 books this year. Well I have found the perfect way to accomplish the goal...read two books at once! LOL I am reading book 7 in the James Patterson Women's Murder Club series. I read the first several books years ago - then re-read them as well as 4-6 sometime last year, and I think he has the series 1-9 published at this time, so I am glad to see what happens next for Lindsay Boxer and her friends! So I read that during the day, or at night, while JR watched baseball and when I go to bed I read my hot romance novel! I slept very little last night because I just wan't feeling well and Logan kept having nightmares - so I got a lot of reading done! Now I can't wait to finish my print book and get back to the library! Logan rented Peter Pan - Return to Neverland, and A Car's Life....we have watched both about a dozen times each! I am definitely ready to take those back and get two others. You can tell it is a small town library when the majority of the movie choices are on VHS instead of DVD! LOL
Have a great weekend everyone!
Our Plans:
Go to the movies to see "Rio" either some time today or tomorrow.
Wait for the stove guy to come fix ours - the heating element is going out...which is not good for a stove!
T-ball pictures tomorrow
T-ball game tomorrow
2 new tires tomorrow
Texas Rangers minor league game Sunday afternoon! Woohoo!
at some point, either tomorrow or Sunday, we will do a little clothes shopping for JR...and I will probably get a few things as well!

Just wanted to add this one

I know I posted a few pics, but I just wanted to add one that makes me laugh out loud every time I see it

Yesterday

We had such an amazing day yesterday! It went by in the blink of an eye. First of all, we probably should have spaced things out a little more. Maybe we should have done the Library and HEB yesterday, and the wild flowers today. I have just been putting it off for so many days I really wanted to get it done. We ended up only seeing one trail, because it was HOT. The kids were ridiculous.
The library was really great, there were so many kids ranging from Landry's age to Logan's age. They apparently have been going for quite some time because they sang songs and read two books. All the kids knew the movements and words to the songs - so I felt bad, but Logan picked up the movements quickly and he was trying to sing the songs. Landry - well Landry danced in circles, climbed up and down her chair over and over again, picked up the mats on the floor and moved them...she was a toot. They read a book about bullying and spring and sang more songs. Afterwards they had little coloring stations. Again, Landry had me chasing her like crazy, Logan sat down and colored (I really need to teach him the concept of staying in the lines). They had this birdhouse that was cutout and Logan was supposed to color and glue it together...so I let him put the glue on the back and put it in the right spot, and he colored! Landry tried to eat some crayons and climb the table! whew! Then Logan got a cupcake and we headed home. Landry was asleep before we even pulled in the driveway.
After he nap, we headed for the wildflower center, it was pretty hot, Logan fell asleep on the way there, and of course didn't want to get out of the car. We were there for almost 2 hours and hadn't made it to a second trail - plus it was impossible to get any pictures of the two of them. They were crazy. They obviously dont understand the concept of photos either. They would both look at me and say cheese - but they wouldn't smile, or they wouldn't look at the camera...ughhh! It was a lot of fun though.
After leaving the center we went to HEB to get a few groceries....it probably wasn't a good idea but oh well..the kids were great, just a little needy. By 8:30 last night, Landry had been asleep for an hour, and I was out like a light! Today I think we will hang out at the house, then tonight we will go to the park and t-ball practice!

You can see the rest of them on facebook -

Today is the day!

Forecast: scattered stories with high winds in the middle, but sunshine later in the post!
My mom called me at 6:45 this morning on her way home from work to ask if the kids and I wanted to go to Galveston.
"When?" I ask.
"I'm headed home now, gonna pack a few things and head that way." she replies.
Ummm...okay - so I have mentioned a million times before that my mom is NOT a planner. She gets in the mood to do something, and its just a fly by the seat of your pants thing. Me - I am a planner, I am getting better about the amount of detail that go into planning something...but still I need notice. I hate having to make quick decisions because I feel guilty either way. If I go, I am leaving behind my husband who will have to go to the grocery store and make his own food. Plus, I will miss him - even though we would be back on Friday. Also, Logan would have to miss his T-ball practice, and it seems like he is getting better each week and I dont want to mess that up. On the other hand, If I dont go, then I feel like I am letting down my mom and grandmother. My mom may just want the company for the drive since she is coming off a 12 hour shift, or she might have wanted me to drive so she could sleep. My nanny has been a little down lately so I know she could use some company, but I just can't. It would take a while to get myself packed and the kids, and Landry's puppies and blanket and bed, and the diapers and toy bag and...it goes on. Anyway, I said I would have to go another time - which I am going to see my Nanny at Mother's Day...but part of me feels horrible for not going, the other part knows I made the right decision.
*********THIS NEXT PART IS PERSONAL*******************************
While I was pregnant with Logan - my GIANT of a baby - I got a hemorrhoid. It never really bothered me though. Okay, it bothered me to know that I had this thing in that area, but it was never painful or itched, as I have heard it does sometimes. Anyhow, I had no problems with it, then came Landry - with her there were a few minor issues, but no real problems. For some reason 3 days ago it got mad about something because it has been hurting so badly that I didn't even know what to do yesterday, and it is already starting the fight today...sitting, standing...it hurts, I am going to try some tucks pads...if any of you have had this problem and know of something that works, please let me know.
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Last night Isabella and Isaiah came over for a bit. Randi dropped them off about 4:30 and my dad came to pick them up at 8:45. Supposedly my sister needed help because my mom was working and my dad had a meeting at 7 and Randi had class. Look, I dont mind helping out, it isn't a problem, but I dont like to be lied to and I seriously doubt she was going to class! Who knows. Anyway, All 4 kids and myself went outside to play - Landry was hilarious. The neighbors have 3 kids, Bernice (7), Junior (5), and Javi (3), So I thought it would be great for Isabella (8), and Isaiah (5) to have people to play with as well. It was perfect that Bernice is a girl! Anyway, they all played with monster truck mater for a bit, and then the girls were blowing bubbles and the boys were chasing the bubbles. then they started chasing butterflies...they had nets and everything. Isaiah and I played catch for a bit. After an hour and fifteen minutes I put Landry inside with JR, and the big kids and I played for another 45 minutes. Randi had brought the kids McDonalds, so they all ate chicken nuggets, while JR and I enjoyed a steak, sweet potato, and salad! Yummy. Landry went down at 7:30, but she kept waking up due to the screaming of the other 3 kids. I had to get on to them over and over again. Apparently I hurt Isabella's feelings because when my dad got here, she couldn't get out the door fast enough. My dad told my mom that Izzy was upset on the way home...but I can't figure out what I did to upset her. I know I got on to Isaiah, and yes, he drives me up the wall more than the other 3 combined - NORMALLY - but he was actually really good yesterday. Logan was the loudest...and I got on to him harder than I did Izzy or Bubba. So who knows, I guess I wont be winning any "Best Aunt" awards anytime soon.
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The sun is shining again today. Yesterday I took the kids to the mall and we got some Easter clothes...again - I was disappointed with some of the selections...I didn't have time to go store to store so we just went to Macy's and JcPenney's. Anyway, I wanted to go to take pictures after the mall but it was 2:30 by the time we left and for some reason I couldn't pull up the directions on my phone, and the Randi called to ask if I could watch the kids. (side note: I think its funny that I never hear from her unless she needs something from me!) So anyway, we headed home. I was hoping I could get both kids to take a nap before the cousins arrived - but nope...Landry just wouldn't go down! Logan on the other hand, asked to watch "the Princess and the Frog" and he fell asleep within 5 minutes! He has actually taken a nap evvvery day for the past 4 days. UNFORTUNATELY those naps have started at about 5:45 to 7:30. I was very happy his nap yesterday started at 3:00. So the day has arrived...in about an hour we are headed to the Library for story time. I just found out that they dont actually segregate the toddler time and preschool time...they just do a story time at 10:30 and then they have little craft stations according to age. Then they do it again at 12:00. So the plan is to head to story time, and come back hme so Landry can nap - Then head to the wild flower center , and on the way home stop at the grocery store. I will need to get dinner made early - or we may eat on teh way, but tonight we are taking the kids ot the Nutty Brown Cafe so we can go hear Reckless Kelly...one of my favorite Texas country bands! They go on at 6:30 So we wont be able to stay too long due to Landry's sleep schedule, but I guess we will see how it plays out!
Happy hump day!

What a wonderful world...

It is 9:00am and the sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky! Looks like it is going to be a beautiful day - hot, most likely - but beautiful. I just found out that they do storytime here at the Kyle Library for toddlers at 10:30 and preschoolers at 12:00 on Wednesdays. I am going to take them tomorrow, instead of going twice a week to Buda. We will give it a try tomorrow, my only worry is that being there for over two hours might throw a monkey wrench in the kids behavior. The other problem is that the preschooler time falls during Landry's nap time - so we will have to see how it goes. It would be easier for me to do it all in one day - but it may be easier for the kids if I drive over to Buda (about 15 min) and divide between tuesdays and wednesdays. So we will give tomorrow a try and if doesn't go so well we will go to Buda next week to see how that works out. I am going to try to get the kids to go to the mall in Austin today. Buy a few outfits and take them over to the wild flower center. I would love to buy Landry a big fluffy dress, but I also know I need to be practical and buy her a pretty dress she can wear more than once. I have had a hard time finding clothes for Logan. I never really like the "t-shirts" in the boys section, so I end up buying dress shirts or polo shirts - which will work greak for Easter photos, but when it comes to daily life - well, he needs some regular t-shirts. I have tried Target, Kohls, and Wal-mart...so I am hoping I can find something at the mall. I also need to get the poor kid some new underwear. I didn't really notice until Last night after bathtime. He usually puts his own underwear and shorts on after I lotion him up, but I did it last night - and well...his undies are 3T/4T...I had a bit of trouble getting them up his lotioned legs! He needs 4T/5T or maybe just 5T I am thinking even 4T will be too small since he does where 5T or youth smalls. It's pretty much the youth smalls...sometime we can find some 5T's that fit him, but not always. Its really hard for me to go to the boys sections in a store and not shop in the baby section for him anymore. Of course, I have been doing it for a year now...but it still hits me every time. My little baby boy isn't a baby anymore. Soon I will be taking him to the junior department and he wont want me to come in the dressing room with him anymore. And the heart wrenching thing is that soon after that stage, he will just be asking me for money so he can get what he needs by himself - and he wont want me there at all! Ughhh - I seriously hate thinking about him growing up. Is it so wrong to want him to be my little boy for forever?? StinkerBell is getting so big - way too fast as well. It doesn't hit me the way it does with Logan, but I am sure that it will soon. JR has nicknames for them and it was so funny because last night at dinner Logan looked at me and said, "Mommy, I'm fat boy and sissy is pretty girl" I just looked at JR and we burst out laughing. Of course I have nicknames for them as well, but Logan is usually "Logey", and Landry is usually "stinkerbell". Logan also has Loginator, Logey bear, prince charming, baby boy and pumpkin butt. Landry has sissy, princess, baby girl, and Lulu. I guess we have a lot of nicknames for them. Landry also has Bella, which is kind of reserved for Carol (JR's mom). She is the only one that calls her that - and I love it. Its like a special little bond between a grandmother and her only granddaughter. As for now, its the only granddaughter she will ever have, because as far as Lacy, Jason, and JR - we are all finished having babies...her only option left is Brittany - and she seems pretty content being a mommy to her puppy. LOL
I will say that as Landry starts to near that two year birthday, I start thinkng of having one more child. I am so back and forth on the subject and until I am 100% sure one way or the other I am not going to do anything. At this point, I think its just me trying to hold on to the idea of babies. Mine are growing up - they walk and talk, Logan needs me less and less, as does Landry - and I miss the feeling of having them need me so completely. However, that isn't a good enough reason to have another baby..especially when I remember that they do grow up and then what - do I just keep having babies every two years....i dont think so. Plus, when I start to think about what total dependence means, I think of the waking up, the feeding, the sleepless nights, having another c-section, and while none of that lasts forever - that's kind of my point. I actually miss nursing my babies - but they grow up and start to take a bottle, then a sippy cup, and on and on until one day you look up and they are graduating. If I was to get pregnant, I would take it as a blessing, but I am about 85% sure that I dont want to have any more children. Plus, I want to go to cosmetology school and get my license and have a job that I love so that hopefully 5-10 years down the road I can open my own shop, run my own business, and be my own boss. I love my babies more than anything and I could probably have another 5 of them, but it would be for some pretty selfish reasons and that isn't fair. Maybe when both kids are in school and I have my license and have been working for a little while I could have another one - at least then it wouldn't be as financially irresponsible...but that is about 4-5 years down the road, and I am okay with that. But it sure seems like I am following in my moms footsteps! LOL she got married to my dad a week before my birthday - I married JR a week before Logan's birthday...Randi and I are 22 months apart and Vanessa is 6 years younger than me...Logan and Landry are 31 months apart, and if we decide to have another baby, Landry and the next one will be about 6-7 years apart. Funny how no matter what we say when we are younger, we actually do start to become our parents (at least in some ways)as we get older! Not to mention that we understand them a hell of a lot more! LOL

scattered stories

My goodness - my kids are acting like they had coffee injected into their bodies all night last night...They woke up this morning so hyper - and haven't slowed down since. I have no idea what is going on! They are nuts! This weekend was pretty lazy. We had Logan's t-ball game on Saturday at 8 in the morning...but after that we weren't very productive. I guess we have dropped the second nap with Landry - I dunno, its still kind of in limbo. On Saturday she went down for a nap at 11:30 and woke up at 2:15 and went to bed at 7:30. on Sunday she took her nap at 12:30 and slept until 2:15 and went to bed at 7:45. So she is only taking the one nap and we will see how today goes. she is pretty funny though. She will go to her room and get her blanket and puppies from her bed and carry them around then stop and lay down for a few minutes then get up and carry them to another spot. LOL
Today I have been working on uploading my photos to my shutterfly account. I have been really bad about this and so now I am very behind - and I want to order some prints. Ughh! Usually I just plug in my SD card and import the photos to my computer and then upload them to Facebook - but I haven't been putting them on my shutterfly account - which makes it difficult to order prints! Geez! So I guess I will be busy with that today. I am really hoping to get to the mall in Austin Today or tomorrow. I would like to buy the kids an Easter outfit before I take them to the wild flower center. It looks like I will be going on my own because we just have too much going on during the weekends...and I can tell JR isn't really THRILLED about going - so we will see how that works out. Tomorrow is Toddler time and story time at the public library in Buda at 10:30 and Wednesday is preschooler story time, so I am going to start trying to take the kids up to the Library for story time on Tuesday's and Wednesday's. We will see how it goes, but I think it might be nice for them.
JR weighed in at 317 yesterday, which is an 8 pound weight loss for last week. He is hoping to lose 17 pounds by the time we take our trip to the casino - which means he has 12.5 more days. He was able to run/walk twice this week, but his back hurt so badly the next day that it was all he could do. I told him he should just try doing it every other day...or 3 times a week, Mon. - Wed. - Sat....but I guess we will just have to see. I am sure he could lose 10-12 pounds a week if he was working out, but I dont want him doing anything that will further hurt his back. He is supposed to get an MRI done sometime in the next two weeks! Ughhh, at least he can put his own socks on now! LOL
I am still at 133...I dont think I am going to get any further down...I work out 5 times a week, and I am eating the same diet JR is - So I just dont know what else to do. We only have today and tomorrow left on cycle 3 then we are headed back to cycle 1 - which was the hardest cycle, but also the ONLY cycle I lost weight on! So we will see, maybe I can drop a few more pounds - at some body fat. It is so easy for JR to stay so encouraged...he is dropping the weight so easily, none of his clothes fit anymore, so he has to go shopping for new clothes, you can visually see the changes - so he doesn't get discouraged...me on the otherhand...my clothes aren't fitting any different, there are no visible signs of weight loss, and the number on the scale isn't getting any lower - therefore I am a little discouraged...but I dont mind keeping it up - because I know it is working for JR and I couldn't be more proud of him! - Now, I promise not to talk about the diet again until next Monday for a weekly update!!!
Hope you all have a wonderful week!

Filling in the calendar

JR and I are certainly filling in our calendar quickly. In my last blog I told you about the things we will be doing over the next few months...but last night we added a few more things to the list. I really wanted to take the kids to the Lady Byrd Johnson wildflower center last year, and I just never got around to it. I am hoping to do it this year. I actually wanted to go yesterday after Logan's game, but JR had to go in to woork for a little bit, and it was just as well, because it was been grey all weekend, and I would rather take them during a sunny day. I really want JR to go with us and I think it would be nice to get some Easter outfits and maybe send out Easter cards. We pushed it off to today, but again - grey skies, and I am not feeling all that well, so I have slept most of the day! Next weekend Logan has his game at 9 and then t-ball pictures afterward and MAYBE we can take them. Next Sunday, we are going to take them up to Round Rock to watch the Texas Rangers Minor League team - the Round Rock Express. I think it will be a lot of fun. We have taken Logan to several Astros games - his first at only 3 weeks old! LOL We have been brave and taken both kids to the Astros games, and it gets to be VERY hot. A couple of years ago we took Logan to a Round Rock game and we sat in the stands with my dad and watched the Fireworks afterwards. It was a lot of fun - but this year I think we are going to get Logan a kids pass that allows him and a friend into 10 games...they get to run the bases on certain games, they get a t-shirt, they get all kinds of stuff...and I think we are going to try to sit out on the lawn seats. Its pretty awesome, you take a blanket and sit out behind the outfield and you literally sit on the grass...it gives the kids a little more free reign to play! So I am pretty excited...who would have thought that I would be EXCITED to take the kids to a baseball game!
JR is begging for the computer - so I will have to finish up later!!

T-ball and stuff

Logan had his second t-ball game today and he did really well. He had only a small meltdown at the very beginning and then played the rest of the game without a single problem. He was active and chasing the ball each time. He did great at batting and running the bases. I was so proud of him. The game was at 8 this morning so getting him up and dressed and in the car was a little rough...hence the small meltdown. Luckily is only lasted about five minutes and then he was all about playing the game. Landry was such a little princess...she was great at the field, but now that we are home she is being a squirt. The jibber jabbers ALL the time...Its constant, mommy mommy mommy, dada, nanny, puppy. Its as if she has a list of the words she can say and she just says them over and over again! LOL She went to bed at 7:30 last night and did great. I felt so bad for her because I knew she was so sleepy but I wouldn't let her go down until 7:30. I think this is why she is being such a little toot right now. I am pretty sure she is sleepy, but it is just now 11:00 and I dont want her to go down for a nap until 11:30. We have to get something going as far as a schedule and the weekend is probably the best time to figure it all out. This whole switching to one nap has thrown both of us for a loop and I just want to get back to knowing when she is going down for naps and bedtime...and its better for her as well. On the other hand, since getting home - Logan has been watching "Open Season 2". I haven't heard a peep out of him. I keep checking to see if he has fallen asleep, but he is just sitting on the couch watching the movie! I am so very proud of my kids...they are a constant reminder of how blessed I am and what a wonderful life I have.
JR is under the 320 mark....I told myself I would try to only blog about his weight loss no more than once a week. He weighs himself daily but we go by a weekly weigh in which is on Sunday, so I will try and keep the updates to Monday's only - starting this Monday. I am just so proud of him as well...I cant believe that less than two months ago he was nearly 60 pounds heavier!
We are planning a trip to the casino in Louisiana on April 16...only two weeks away...I am so excited I can barely contain myself. The next few months will probably go by quickly since we have lots of things going on. We have t-ball every Saturday until May 21. We have the casino in two weeks, and a wedding at the end of April. Then Mother's Day at the beach is quickly approaching, JR's birthday is May 13. Then there is my birthday on June 14th, followed by Father's Day on the river. We have Aiden's second birthday party at the beginning of July - which I SERIOUSLY can't believe that nearly 2 years have gone by. Davin turns 5 in August...whew looks like we are going to have a busy summer! I can't wait!
JR and I are aparently having a little communication issue. I pretty much got tired of telling him the same things over and over again, so I figured its just easier not to say anything at all.
EXAMPLE: Me: JR can you please stop leaving you dirty socks in the living room
JR:yeah, sure thing
(the next day)
Me: JR, you left you dirty socks in the living room again
JR: I know, I was going to get them later
(the next day)
Me: JR, I had to pick up your socks again this morning.
JR: Oh man, I forgot, I'm sorry
(the next day)
Me: 10:00pm - JR please dont forget to pick up your socks
JR:ok, you dont have to remind me...I know, I'll do it before I go to bed
(the next day)
I pick up the socks for him and I just stop saying anything because I find it more frustrating to ask him to do something that he isn't going to do. So after a couple of weeks I got upset about him not taking out the trash that I asked him to do, and I throw in the fact that I have been picking up his socks everyday for weeks. They dont just magically make there way to the laundry basket ya know! So he asks why I dont remind him..and I tell him that when I have to say the same thing over and over it makes me feel like a nag, and I know he isn't going to do it anyway, so its just easier to do it myself. He tells me I need to be better at communicating---ughhhh. So this past Monday after dinner I say, "Hey babe, thanks for washing out your dish, but if you could just take that extra step and put the dish in the dish washer, it would really help." Tuesday - "JR, I know I asked you yesterday, and starting a new habit is hard, but if you could put your dish in the dishwasher, I would really appreciate it. Wednesday comes - "Hey babe, what are you supposed to do with the dish after you've rinsed it?" He says, "okay, SARA - I get it, you can stop telling me." But obviously he doesn't get it and I need to remind him because he still isn't doing it, right? So on Thursday I say nothing and guess what - he forgot AGAIN. Last night, I finish my dinner and I take my bowl to the sink...and again, his bowl has been washed out - but its still in the sink - So I say, "JR, your doing really great at washing out the dishes you use, but if you could please just put the dish in the...." He cuts me off and tells me to stop nagging him - he will do it! So I have no idea what in the hell I am supposed to do. Am I communicating or am I nagging. Trust me, its easier to just not say anything and just do it myself, but then he tells me to communicate, and remind him. I do that, and then he says I am nagging. humph!
Now, after all of that - let me just say that this is only a very small thing...obviously we need to figure it out, but JR and I are very lucky to have such a good marriage. Sure we have some small issues but I couldn't love him more. He is a hard worker, a wonderful provider, and an amazing father and husband. We hardly ever fight anymore - we, of course, still have arguements here and there - butoonly because he hasn't learned that I am always right! LOL The point is, we have a great marriage, but there will always be some issue or another, and in a way I love that. It means that we have something to work on and we wont get complacent in the marriage. And lets face it, with all my flaws - I am sure we will certainly ALWAYS have something that needs to be worked on!LOL

Happy 500

This is my 500th post...
Logan's Dr.'s appointment was torturous - at least for me. Here are the basics - He weighs 43 pounds and is 3'6.5" tall. The nurse said he was a tall 4 year old...ha - tell me something I dont know! I was wrong yesterday - apparently he needed 4 shots instead of 3...I didn't tell him what was going to happen at the doctor's office at first - we went in, he played with his toys and with his sister. He was so good when they checked his weight and height, and when the Dr. came in to do his checkup..eyes, nose, throat, listening to his heart...checking his shoulders, hips, arms and legs...you know the routine stuff. Then the nurse came in and asked if I would like an extra nurse to help me in case he needed to be held down. I probably sat there for about a minute just staring at her - I didn't know what to say...I didn't want another person having to hold him down, it might just make him panic more - but since I had Landry, an extra person might help...plus he might take it better coming from a stranger...So I said okay. 2 minutes later they came in. Logan got up on the little table, and I got eye to eye with him. I decided I should explain what was happening instead of just shocking him. So I told him that the nurses were going to help him and he would be getting shots and it would hurt but only for a second and he needed to be really still...there was more explanation - but you get the drift. They laid him down and gave him 2 in his left leg. He actually didn't cry, but he kept asking them to "please stop" I have gotten so used to praising good manners that I actually said, "Good manners Logan!" What an idiot LOL He crying didn't begin until he got the shot behind his left arm, and screaming insued with the shot in his right arm. I was crying, and doing the nervous laughter thing, Landry was crying, and Logan was crying saying "I dont like this, ouch - it hurts, please stop" I hated it. Now that he has been properly traumatized, every time he gets hurt he says that the doctor did it! Ha! Great!
After the doctor Logan fell asleep on the way home, so I took the kids home to let them sleep. When Logan got up, I took him to Target to get a power ranger, and then we went to t-ball practice. We went early so the kids could play at the park. Landry used to just kind of walk around...but this time she was entralled with the slide...and she figured out the concept of walking up the stairs...we actually got there really early 5:45 and practice wasn't until 6:15. Logan ended up busting his lip at the play ground...which he informed me was the doctor's fault - haha. he did really well at practice. It was the best one yet. He only had one small melt down, but it lasted less than 5 minutes. I was so proud of him - he had a rough day. Once we got home we ate dinner and I headed to HEB to finish up the grocery shopping. It was a long day - for sure. To top everything off Landry woke up at 10...she usually will go back to sleep, but after 10 minutes of crying, I went to check on her..I ended up getting her out of the crib and brought her into Logan's room to watch a movie. She actually laid there but she would NOT stop talking and giggling. Everytime she would giggle, Logan would start laughing...she has learned 2 new words...Cheese and trash! Logan is the one that taught her "cheese" which is pretty cute. She says "trash" everytime she takes her diaper to the trash. After we change her diaper she likes to take the dirty one and put in the trash...she actually gets ticked if you try to take it yourself. Anyway, I finally took Landry to the living room because I didn't think she or Logan would ever fall asleep if they kept giggling back and forth. We watched American Idol, and after that I just laid her down again...I was so tired - I just couldn't take it. She cried for about 5 minutes and went back to sleep - whew.

About 6 years ago I was diagnosed with an axiety disorder and was given trazodone. Afer a few days of taking the drug, I became agoraphobic. I could not leave my apartment, I couldn't sleep...I thought somenone was trying to get in my apartment, I would check the door and the blinds about every 5 minutes...I literally thought someone was trying to get me. I stopped taking the drug - and after the experience I have not wanted to take ANY type of anti-anxiety medicine again. I have panic attacks here and there and I can usually prevent them from coming on...but let me just explain a little of what it feels like. Breathing becomes very difficult and I start to sweat. I get very hot and feel like I am being cornered into a small room - even if I am in a wide open space. There other things that happen, that I just can't explain, but for this reason, I am not a fan of large crowds, and I dont like to be enclosed in any area - I may hae a small form of claustrophobia...but it doesn't effect me on a daily basis...its just exacerbated when the panic attacks come on. Large crowds usually cause me to panic a little, and once the panic starts to set in...it jst gets worse and worse. Usually, I would just remove myself from the crowd and avoid the attack. Well, at Logan's party, everything was going well...when I felt the panic start to kick in I would get up to go to a less populated area...by the end of the party I had been trying to get out of there for about 40 minutes as the panic continued to work its way out....by the time I got to the parking lot - I was having trouble catching my breath and I was sweating profusely. I was wearing a windbreaker and it was stuck to my arms because of the sweat..I tried to get it off and even though it was only a few seconds it felt like forever..the longer the jacket was on, the harder it was to breathe - and I completely flipped out trying to get it off. JR doesn't really seem to understand - and I guess its hard unless you go through it, but basically it sucks. Anyway, I am telling this story because I have spoken about the small anxietty attack I had but I realized I never really told a backstory - and also because I realized something else. JR makes fun of me because when we go to a restaurant I ALWAYS have to be facing the door OR next to a door. After all these years - for some crazy reason - I just realized that this has everything to do with anxiety and I have no idea why I didn't put the two together earlier! Weird!
So I guess you all know now - I am a little looney!
have a great weekend!